Opinion: To the point - Boisterous or bullying?

As a child who was badly bullied at school, the whole question of 'what is bullying?' and 'how should we treat bullies?' is always something close to my heart.

I was interested to read two recent reports on the subject. The first suggested that we may have reached a stage where we cannot discern the difference between bullying and boisterous behaviour, and so interfere unnecessarily with normal child development patterns. The import of the second was simply that certain types of behaviour are always out of bounds.

A few weeks ago, I was travelling on the London Underground just as a local school was closing. A group of seven or eight teenage boys were standing by the doors being slightly boisterous, but in no way causing a nuisance of themselves. What struck me about the group, was the disparity in size of boys, obviously in the same year group, with two in particular being much smaller, and one of those being seriously overweight.

What caused my concern was that it was to this boy that most of the boisterous behaviour was directed, though he seemed to take the jesting in good grace. Despite this outward appearance of acceptability, I could not get scenes from William Golding's 'Lord of the Flies' out of my mind; indeed, the boy who was the subject of attention was so like the victim of the story.

With some of the behaviour towards this boy developing in a direction I found concerning, I decided to take what I thought to be appropriate action and spoke to the group directly. After asking what school they went to, I explained that bullying was totally unacceptable, and while the difference between bullying and boisterous behaviour was often quite narrow, I believed they had overstepped the mark.

The boys seemed genuinely confused. Far from giving me abuse, they protested their innocence. Although he did not say a great deal, the victim looked both embarrassed and uncomfortable.

As I left, I began to ask myself exactly the same question raised in the first of the reports mentioned. Have we come too far in our endeavour to protect children from some of the more uncomfortable aspects involved in their 'rite of passage', or are we simply becoming inured to antisocial behaviour to such an extent that what is simply wrong passes under the banner of current acceptability?

The question is important for those of us who look after children, but I am not sure I can provide any clear guidelines as to where the line is drawn. I would be delighted to hear your views.