Positive Relationships: Working with parents - Little danger?

Life is a risky business. There is no doubt about it. However, most of us do not contemplate the risks that we take on a daily basis too closely. Perhaps if we did, we might never get out of bed!

Mostly, we take personal responsibility for our own safety, although there are times when we may have no control over the danger that others put us in. People who insist on using their mobile phone while driving is one that particularly irks me. I'm sure that you can think of others.

As early years practitioners with a legal obligation to provide a vast array of exciting learning opportunities for young children - including daily periods of learning outdoors- the awareness of risk, and being aware of the implications of risk-taking, are a necessary part of our job. We need to provide an environment that is emotionally supportive, intellectually stimulating and physically challenging, while doing our utmost to prevent those in our care from coming to harm.

So, what constitutes risk? Travelling abroad last autumn, I stumbled across a group of children playing on the edge of a paddy field where the rice had recently been harvested. The youngest child, aged approximately 20 months, was wielding a very large, very sharp knife that was of a similar length to the child's legs. However, he was clearly in little danger. The two older children were undoubtedly mindful of him, but more than that, he handled the knife with the kind of confidence that only comes from familiarity. This was obviously not the first time he had handled the tool, and he was indisputably aware of its uses. He role-played cutting the rice stalks several times, before toddling over to a large stone and placing the blade carefully out of harm's way. No adults were in evidence.

TRUST

Of course I am not for one minute suggesting that early years practitioners everywhere arm their youngest children with sharp blades, but I think there is food for thought here. Someone (probably an adult or an older child) had taught this boy how to use the knife responsibly. He had been trusted with this knowledge and allowed to practise the skill in a safe environment.

Supportive adults are an important part of such an environment. Anxious adults communicate their fear to children and can easily prevent them participating in all kinds of activities that could be perfectly safe. People need to trust children to succeed.

Parents entrusting their children to our care have many anxieties about doing so, some of which are magnified by guilt. In communicating the importance of risk-taking to them, it is vital that we do not belittle their fears - after all, educators would probably be equally concerned if parents were not interested in the safety of their children! Parents and carers need to trust us. This trust comes from warm, friendly, open relationships. It makes the communication of all kinds of information easier and more effective.

It is easier to trust knowledgeable adults, particularly when it comes to the explanation and justification of practice that encourages and actively promotes risk. If all members of the team in an early years setting do not speak with one voice, then parents may (legitimately, in my opinion) express concerns, pitting practitioner against practitioner. Clearly, whatever your individual opinion, consistency is necessary.

Our feelings about risk are likely to be governed by our personal history - incidents that have happened to us and those that we know and care for. One parent whose child I taught was extremely anxious about the way in which sharp objects (including pencils) were stored, used and managed. Further discussion with her led to her explaining that her brother had lost the sight of one eye because of a freak accident when he was quite young. Time was spent reassuring her that everything possible was being done to prevent such incidents, including teaching children to handle sharp implements safely; dismissing her fears would only have made them grow, leading to increased tensions.

This example may appear exceptional, but it illustrates the usefulness of discovering the root of people's anxieties, and being able to allay fears where possible.

RISK-AVERSE SOCIETY

It is probably true to say that nowadays we live in an increasingly risk-averse society. This means that we need to justify our practice even more clearly to those who would question the value of risk-taking in young children, particularly when it comes to the outdoor classroom. Children are entitled to take calculated risks, within an environment that supports and values risk-taking. Adults need to trust children to succeed. The outdoor classroom is a place where all kinds of risks can be taken - riding a bike, climbing a tree, negotiating a home-made ladder, playing in the snow, wind or rain, or simply building a den.

It is far too easy to wear the rose-tinted spectacles of nostalgia which often serve to blind us to the realities of childhood and parenting in the 21st century. I really don't think that my parents were any less concerned about my safety than modern-day parents are. The grazes and bruises that I sustained on the first day that the stabilisers were taken off my bicycle (aged seven) would certainly be no less painful today. I can also remember, very clearly, being at secondary school in the 1970s when several 'dangerous' toys were banned.

Perhaps we need to accept that the world, and indeed society, has changed, and rather than try to recreate a mythical childhood idyll where children gambolled through grassy meadows or played in the street without a care, we need to make the most of what we have in the here and now. We are fortunate to have a curriculum that legally obliges us to give children daily experiences of outdoor learning. This clearly includes a wide variety of risks - and so it should.

Children are entitled to come to our settings to have experiences that they may not have in the normal course of events. This might include climbing, riding bikes, playing with sticks and having a marvellous time with sand and water.

It is our job to recognise the risks involved and minimise possible harm to the children, while at the same time accepting that accidents will happen. When they do, we need to act quickly, confidently and responsibly, without using such incidents as an excuse to reduce opportunities for learning further. We also need to be honest with ourselves and ask if parents' concerns are sometimes a convenient excuse not to take risks. The phrase 'Well, it's the parents, isn't it ...?' echoes round many a training course on outdoor learning.

Children need to take risks, for both their mental and physical well-being. They need to take risks in an environment that supports them, and where 'failure' is seen as an instance of creative learning. If such opportunities exist, then we have done our job successfully. Helping children to ask 'is it a good idea if I do this?' means that they become aware of risk, without being averse to it. Ultimately, it is important to realise that avoiding all risks may be the greatest risk of all.

POINTS FOR REFLECTION

Test yourself

• When did you last 'take a risk'? What did this risk involve? Was it worth it?

• How do you measure the risks that you take in both your personal and professional life?

• What would you say was the most risky thing you have ever been involved in?

• Can you think of ways in which risk-taking enhances your life?

• Would you encourage a child of your own to take a risk? If so, what would you define as risk-taking?

• Do you know and understand the views of those who you work with about what constitutes risk, and how valuable it might be?

• Is the approach consistent with both parents and children?

Reflect upon ...

• Do you genuinely recognise and acknowledge parents' fears and concerns?

• Are you able to empathise with parents who express concerns, while at the same time justifying good practice to them?

• Are you ever guilty of using parents' concerns as a convenient excuse for not providing appropriate experiences for children?

• Do you support children who strive to push the boundaries of their learning?

• Are you confident enough to explain to parents the role that taking risks plays in the growth of confidence and self-esteem?