All young children need to feel physically and emotionally safe. They need their world to be predictable enough that they can steadily understand what happens in their day and how familiar adults react to their behaviour. A sense of security is built for young children from several equally important strands:
- Close and affectionate relationships with a small number of familiar adults who treat the child as an individual.
- Clear and well supported transition times when responsibility for the care of a young child passes from one adult to another.
- Affectionate relationships with other children whom this child sees on a regular basis.
- A friendly and communicative relationship between the child's parents and other carers.
A supportive routine that give a rhythm to young children's day and helps them to feel a part of daily events.
Predictable adults
Babies and toddlers are in the business of learning how their social world operates. They want to know, what makes what happen? What follows on from what? How do I fit in? Of course, very young children do not ask questions in these actual words. But when you use your skills of observation, you will see similar important queries reflected in the behaviour of under-threes as well as their early communication.
From the perspective of a baby and toddler, it is reassuring to learn that:
- People notice when I arrive and they welcome me. They are glad to see me when I wake from a nap.
- If I smile and 'chat', people will talk back with me. They pay attention to what I want to communicate; they are interested in me.
- If I'm upset, somebody will comfort me with words and touch. It matters to other people if I am distressed.
- If I'm interested in something, then familiar adults will enjoy that focus of interest, puzzlement or excitement with me.
- If I get beyond myself or try to push out the boundaries, a familiar adult will guide me and calm me down.
On the other hand, it creates insecurity when young children learn that their distress leads to an irritated adult reaction or, even more confusing, an unpredictable reaction depending on the mood of the adult. Young children can deal with a certain amount of variation, because normal behaviour is not rigidly the same all the time. But babies and young children are distressed when what seems like the same behaviour to them sometimes meets with an adult laugh and sometimes with cross or dismissive words.
Insecurity on the mind
Astute early years practitioners have observed the distress of young children whose care has been unpredictable and harsh. Such children often seem to be over-sensitive to the normal ups and downs of life and only too quick to lash out over minor conflicts. The findings of research into early brain development offer an explanation of what has happened.
When very young children have a continued experience of harshness and unpredictable adult behaviour (not the odd 'off day'), the result is that they have higher than normal levels of the steroid hormone cortisol in their brains.
Our brains need cortisol because it helps us deal with times of stress, but excessive amounts destroy young brain cells and block the connections that strengthen learning.
Babies and toddlers who have very insecure early lives seem to end up 'hard wired' for trouble. On the other hand, children who have experienced warm and consistent nurturing have lower levels of cortisol. When these secure infants experience temporary stress, the natural increase in cortisol also reduces more rapidly. The learning reflected in the brain connections of secure infants reassures them that this is just a temporary blip and caring adults will be back to normal soon.
Routine flexibility
Very young children like to have a good sense of what happens in a day. But they do not feel happy with a rigid routine in which the adult-determined schedule is more important than a child's feelings or preferences. Luckily you have plenty of choices between the one extreme of an utterly unpredictable day, which confuses young children, and the other extreme day that is run along the lines of '12.19 lunch and no questions asked'.
Allowing children to help out also makes them feel valued, rather than like little people who get things done to them. There are plenty of safe opportunities for under-threes to share in their own care and to feel personally secure because their involvement builds a personal identity.
Closely attached
Young children will feel their strongest attachments to the family, but they need to feel cherished and liked by their key worker and other familiar practitioners in the team. Parents are understandably uneasy if their children seem too close to an early years practitioner and it can be awkward for you if children seem not to want to leave at the end of the day.
Some teams use this dilemma to argue that young children must not be allowed to get fond of their carers, even sometimes moving staff or children around the centre to prevent any closeness. Such an approach is very poor practice, because it disrupts children's social development and creates insecurity. Any problems that adults have with attachment need to be resolved through communication and support between the adults. Young children need to become attached in a fond way to their carers, and they have plenty of affection to go around.
