Nursery World - A parent's guide to helping children overcome their fears

Sometimes we don't need to do anything to try to overcome fears. They can be healthy and developmental. Just listen to your child's stories and encourage her to tell you as much as she can. Sharing her worries may bring relief, so don't leap in too quickly with reassurances. It is important, though, to show that adults and children do feel differently about scary things, and that you yourself are not scared of monsters (or whatever it is). What causes children's fears?

What causes children's fears?

Children depend on their parents for a feeling of security. When we ourselves feel unhappy and insecure, when marriages or partnerships break up, when we fail to cope, then our children suffer. If your child is developing a new, dominating fear, ask yourself if something has changed in your family.

Family flashpoints when children become anxious and develop new fears can involve the birth of a new baby, the loss of a grandparent or other loved family member, separation and divorce, or a parent feeling depressed and unable to cope. For example, if a fear of monsters erupts around this time, it can be understood as an expression of your child's own 'monstrous'

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