How can I create the perfect bedtime routine for my child?
A suggested routine might be playing a game with children after tea, followed by a bath which marks the start of 'wind-down' time. Bathtime is a good time for parents to talk with their child about his or her day. After the bath, it's time for pyjamas.
There may be time for a quiet activity such as a jigsaw before a child is helped to brush their teeth and then go to the toilet for the last time before getting into bed and enjoying a bedtime story. After the story, the same phrase can be used every night to mark the end of the day and to give the child a feeling of security. For example, 'It's time to go to sleep now. Sleep tight. I'll see you in the morning.'
Inevitably, parents who work have many tasks to complete in an evening, but if time and energy can be concentrated mainly on their children's needs until they go to bed, they will find that they will settle down more easily.
My three-year-old son is usually wide awake when it comes to bedtime, whereas his five-year-old sister is obviously tired. As they share a bedroom, wouldn't it make sense to let him stay up until after his sister has settled down?
Younger children generally need more sleep than older children. Life will be easier in the long run if you link bedtimes to age. For example, bedtime for a three-year-old might be 6.45pm, but it could be 7pm from his fourth birthday, 7.15pm from his fifth birthday and so on. After tea you could perhaps bath your children together, gently winding down and chatting about the day, then give your daughter the opportunity to play or look at books quietly on her own while you give your son 15 minutes of quality time on his own, reading a story or looking at a book of his choice. While your son adjusts to the new routine, you could give your daughter her story in your bed and move her back into her own bed once she is asleep and your son has settled.
My two-year-old wakes several times every night. He screams until we take him a drink and then we have to lie down with him until he falls asleep again. Often, we are so tired it is easier to let him get into our bed.
What can we do?
Your two-year-old has learned that if he screams he will be rewarded with a drink and your undivided attention. Follow a carefully planned bedtime routine, then, as you put him to bed, tell him that he is a big boy now and won't be needing extra drinks through the night. I would suggest you also try the Ferber Method, which means you gradually withdraw the amount of attention you give your son when he cries. The first time he cries, go into his room after five minutes and calmly say 'It's bedtime, you need to go to sleep now'. Next time he cries, wait ten minutes before going into his room. If necessary, repeat at 15-minute intervals throughout the night, but on each occasion offer no physical comfort or eye contact. If he gets out of bed, calmly take him back to bed and repeat 'It's bedtime, you need to go to sleep now.'
My six-year-old daughter is asking for a television in her bedroom. She says all her friends have one. Am I am being unfair if I don't let her have one too?
Children who are allowed to watch TV unsupervised can become over- stimulated, acquire a distorted view of real life, and be introduced to bad language, violence and horror. They often have difficulty getting to sleep and may suffer from nightmares. You need to explain to your daughter that it is because you love her so much that you do not want her to have a TV in her bedroom. Your daughter may resent your decision at this time, but in the future she will understand.
