Your child's first tantrum can be a shock - you have heard of 'the terrible twos' but he is much younger. Tantrums can in fact start around 18 months and continue sometimes to five and beyond. They are your child's response to frustration. He wants to do so much more than he is able or allowed, and cannot yet express his anger verbally. His explosive outbursts can make you feel angry, powerless and exhausted, so it helps to remember that they are a normal part of growing up.
My child hates dressing in the morning - what can I do to stop the tantrums?
She may still be tired, is probably hungry, possibly confused by recent dreams and doubtless senses your frustration. A calm breakfast together first might help. Allow sufficient time - young children want desperately to do things 'all by myself'. Hurrying them inevitably leads to conflict. She probably also wants some control over what she wears. Try giving her the choice between two or three selected outfits - it is much harder to refuse to wear what you have chosen!
How do I deal with a toddler who always has a tantrum when we go to the supermarket?
* Try involving him - decide together what you need and what to buy for lunch or a treat afterwards.
* Ensure that he isn't tired or hungry; this is a sure recipe for disaster.
* Try to make trips pleasurable.Take a book or toy to entertain him in the trolley, chat with him, and keep trips short!
* If a tantrum starts, remove him to somewhere quiet and allow him to calm down away from an audience. Stay calm yourself - hopefully you can return to your trolley once the storm has passed!
I find it very difficult to keep calm when my child has a tantrum. I'm afraid I might really hurt him one day.
Many parents feel angry or upset by their child's seemingly unreasonable behaviour. Remember that: * Remaining calm is the best way to deal with tantrums.
* Tantrums are normal and not a result of 'poor parenting'.
* He is not trying to annoy you, just responding to overwhelming feelings that he cannot express in any other way.
* He probably feels frightened by the force of these feelings and by being out of control.
* It is pointless reasoning with him - stay close, try putting his feelings into words and reassure him with a cuddle afterwards.
My eldest child never had tantrums but the second is quite different. Why is this?
Children have different temperaments, but often second children in the family face more frustrations - the tempting things that they are not allowed such as the older child's toys, the struggle to keep up with their sibling and the need to share parents' time and attention. Also they are 'organised' to a much greater extent than a first child, for example going to and from school at least twice a day (with no benefit for them at all!) Is there any way parents can prevent tantrums?
Nothing can prevent every tantrum, but it helps if you: * Make sure your child gets sufficient sleep and eats regular, nutritious meals.
* Don't make arrangements close to her nap or meal time or if she is 'off colour'.
* Give lots of attention to positive behaviour and very little to tantrums.
* Have clear, consistent boundaries (but as few as possible.) * Keep 'No' to a minimum by keeping precious or unsuitable items out of sight or by distracting her attention.
* Consider her requests carefully - make sure battles happen only over important things!
* Think ahead. For example, on wet afternoons give the child an opportunity to 'let off steam' through some physical activity.
* Give choices - try asking 'Would you like to brush your teeth before or after your story?' rather than commanding her, 'Brush your teeth'.
* Give some warning that it will soon be time to go or to stop an activity.
* Put her feelings into words if a tantrum is brewing, for example by saying, 'You're feeling angry because...' * Finally, never reward a tantrum by giving in!
If a child's tantrums are very severe or frequent it may be helpful to speak to your GP or health visitor.
