In one of my first teaching jobs I worked at a school for 'maladjusted children'. I was distinctly uncomfortable about this label. The students were certainly challenging. but most were responding to difficult situations in their young lives, including abuse, rejection and trauma.
Some had powerful negative role models. It was these situations that were 'mal'; to label the children instead seemed illogical. Fortunately others agreed and schools for 'maladjusted children' eventually became schools for children with emotional and behavioural difficulties.
Language influences how we interpret what is going on around us.
Conversations are the means by which beliefs and ways of seeing the world become established. The way we talk about children and behaviour determines how we think about it, which in turn suggests what we do about it, especially in the longer term. Such discourses can become powerful in a group and make it hard to challenge some interpretations of behaviour.
Ways of understanding
Consider this scenario: Sophie is struggling to put on her boots to go outside in the rain. She can't get one on and throws it in fury across the room. When one of the early years staff comes to offer help, she screams at her to go away.
The language used to describe Sophie and this incident is indicative of what people believe is going on. One person may label this behaviour as disruptive, another as aggressive, perhaps deliberately hurtful or uncon- trolled, while another may see it as determined or 'out of character'.
Sophie herself may be described as defiant, unco-operative or insolent.
Alternatively, she may be thought of as independent, over-tired or distressed. Some may refer to broader aspects of the situation that have implications for others - such as Sophie lacking guidance or being hard to manage.
There are many potential constructs. This is called 'positioning'. How you 'position' Sophie will imply how you are positioned yourself, and this determines your action:
* If you see her as disruptive, then perhaps you position yourself as responsible for maintaining order
* If independent, you will be acknowledging her developmental drive for autonomy along with the need for appropriate socialisation
* If aggressive, your focus may be on protecting others
* If insolent, you may take it personally and think you have to defend yourself
* If, over time, you position Sophie as 'not normal', you may focus on her differences rather than what she has in common with other children. You may believe her problems are 'beyond the limits of your responsibility'
* If you see the behaviour as a coping strategy, you may help Sophie find more acceptable ways of responding to difficulties
* If you see her as having a frustrating day, then perhaps you will be looking at how to make the day better and explore some ways of getting her frustration to quiet down.
The child as the problem
Sometimes adults see problems as existing within children. They get labelled with terms such as 'attention-seeking', 'impulsive' or 'spiteful'.
Occasionally the label suggests abnormal- ity, such as 'conduct disordered'. This way of thinking is often referred to as 'the medical model' and it has its roots in deficit psychology. It looks to the child to 'change' or 'get treatment'. This is not a very helpful or hopeful way of understanding behaviour. Trying to 'make' others change has limited impact and we risk increasingly forceful methods or drug regimens.
Children also tend to live up to labels. If one is frequently told she can't do something, she will learn to see herself as that person. If children are given positive labels by significant adults, however, such as 'helpful' or 'determined', they will do their best to meet these expectations instead.
Blaming the family
Another way of seeing difficult behaviour is that it is the parents' fault.
Although this may be understandable, blame does not help. Families usually want the best for their children and do what they can with the knowledge, skills, resources and support they have. Families often lack one or more of these vital ingredients.
Professional involvement needs to focus on supporting parents for the sake of their children. One mother, faced with a litany of her son's misdemeanours, summed up her sense of hopelessness: 'They wanted me to work miracles and I just couldn't do it.' The evidence indicates that when professionals look for competencies and possibilities, families respond by being less defensive and more prepared to collaborate.
Interactive perspective
This view acknowledges that there are things you can change and things that you can't. You cannot do anything about a child's past experiences, family, personality, level of development or innate characteristics. But early years workers do have choice in their perspectives, expectations, responses to needs and difficulties, what they say and how they say it, the use of resources and facilitation of learning.
A child's potential can be maximised by a supportive environment and constructive relationships. Small consistent changes can make big differences. Spending energy on what you can do something about is likely to be more fruitful and less wearing than focusing on what the child is not doing well.
Solutions and strengths
A solution-focused approach is clear about the link between beliefs and actions and asks different questions about challenging situations.2 Instead of looking backwards to find out the details of incidents and why they occur, solution-focused approaches look for exceptions - 'What is going on when this is not happening and how can we get more of it?' - and focus on the future - 'What do we want to happen?' Is the goal that Sophie puts on her boots independently, or are we more interested in how she manages frustration without losing her temper? What do we want her to be able to do? Once we are clear about the goal we can begin to look for exceptions such as, When does Sophie manage frustration well? What helps her? What can she do independently? How did she learn this?
Once someone sees they are already part of the way to a goal their sense of optimism and confidence increases.
The problem is a problem
Another useful way of conceptualising behaviour is to see children having a relationship with a problem and 'externalising' it. We explore with children how the problem is getting in the way3. For example, we might ask Sophie to give her frustration a name - Mr Crosspatch, perhaps - and help her think of ways of keeping him away. This approach is respectful of children and encourages their creativity in finding solutions.
Sue Roffey is author of Helping with Behaviour, published by Routledge in association with Nursery World (13.99), tel: 0870 444 8633
References
1 Sue Roffey (ed) (2002) School Behaviour and Families. London: David Fulton
2 Insoo Kim Berg and Therese Steiner (2003) Children's Solution Work. New York: WW Norton
3 Jennifer Freeman, David Epston, Dean Lobvits (1997) Playful Approaches to Serious Problems. New York: WW Norton
