In times of stress, frustration or anger, many parents snap and lash out. This does not mean that these parents are abusers or make them bad parents. Most of the time, parents who hit in these circumstances feel as upset as their children and regret it afterwards.
But hitting children when 'losing it' or 'at the end of your tether' is the worst time to do it (not that there ever is a particularly good time). You are not in control. I know, I've been there too.
Physical punishment can be dangerous and, as most professionals and parents agree, it is ineffective as a means of discipline. Because it's ineffective, hitting can get progressively harder and, therefore, more dangerous.
Physical punishment is a lesson in bad behaviour. It is a thoroughly confusing message for children for, on the one hand, we say violence is wrong, and with the other, we hit them.
Children tell us about feeling humiliated, frightened, unloved and confused. They feel that parents are using unjust power, which can build resentment.
The emotional bruising that we can all inflict on our children should be food for thought for every parent - it has been for me. It puts the common phrase 'It never did me any harm' into its proper context. Hitting children must stop.
We need a new national contract, involving everyone concerned with children's upbringing. The Government and professional agencies must say 'yes' to more help and support for parents, and parents must say 'no' to punishing children with physical force.
Next Wednesday is NSPCC Children's Day, which this year is focusing on these issues. An information pack with advice on alternatives to physical punishment can be ordered from the NSPCC Publications Unit on 0207 825 2775.
