Not all bad

'I worry - some people collect stamps... I worry, I'm very good at it.' This playworker's joking pride in her ability to worry is unusual. We do not normally think of worrying as good or acceptable but rather something that spoils life. And nowhere is this more true than in the life of a child.

Worried children cause worried, if not distressed, adults. They challenge the myth of childhood as carefree, innocent and playful. They may appear isolated and helpless and are likely to make you feel helpless.

'There's something wrong with that child... I know there is... I just can't get him to talk...' We feel worse as we realise that, of course, we can't make children talk. We know only too well, that if we ask children questions, they give answers - usually the answer they think we want. And it is easy to forget that we are not born able to put our worries into words. We all have to learn to do it. Think of the times you have found it really difficult as an adult to explain the exact nature of your worry to someone else. Children have very limited ways of telling adults about their worries. If they don't have the language, then they use behaviour.