Q We work in a big nursery and our children come from a very wide range of cultures and backgrounds. We would appreciate some suggestions about the best way to teach moral values without upsetting parents and carers.
A How welcome it is to know that so many nurseries are committed to nourishing their children's moral and social development.
It is easy to feel confused and dismayed by all the reports of tension that we see in the news. Life can feel like such a minefield of cultural differences that we aren't sure about the right thing to do and become anxious. But in terms of basic moral values we have more in common than it might initially seem. Whether on the other side of the globe or a few streets away, the world's population lives by much the same basic set of moral 'rules'. These are fundamental values that children need to learn because they bind humanity together and help us live in harmony. If our communities are to work well, we need to look after one another and make sure each member is treated with respect.
An action is described as moral or right if it is good for other people.
Conversely, if we do something that hurts others or makes them unhappy, then our action is immoral and wrong. It is as simple as that.
We learn basic moral values from the people around us. Eventually we internalise them, and many of our emotions are associated with how well we feel we have kept, or failed to keep, the codes of moral behaviour that we learned when we were young.
Golden rules
Here we suggest that children are taught six Golden Rules that we believe are universally accepted moral values. It is important that they are maintained at all times by everyone. It is not enough to teach the rules and display them if they are not the rules that you are using in real life.
Children need to see that you always live by these rules and understand that you have them to guide you in everything you say and do. Then children will copy you and use them in the same way.
The six Golden Rules are:
* We are gentle, we do not hurt anybody
* We are kind and helpful, we do not hurt people's feelings
* We are honest, we do not cover up the truth
* We try to work hard, we do not waste time
* We look after property, we do not waste or damage things
* We listen to people, we do not interrupt.
The Golden Rules emphasise the positive but also include their negative side. This is intentional, because they make a balanced statement of the things that each of us should and shouldn't do.
These six Golden Rules are too complicated for younger children, so we suggest that you start with two positive statements:
* We are gentle
* We are kind and helpful.
Generally, the other Golden Rules are gradually introduced from the second term of reception onwards. Another Golden Rule that you might find useful for young children is:
* We play well, we do not spoil each others' games.
You could make a wall display of photographs of your children modelling good behaviour that you want to encourage. You can point to the pictures when drawing a child's attention to the desired behaviour.
Children learn their behaviour by copying people around them, so be aware that they are watching you, and practise what you preach. It is no good telling children that they must talk politely if you raise your voice at them.
Incentive systems
Incentive systems can reinforce the lessons that you wish children to learn. Moral rules are best reinforced through praise and reward. Some adults pay so much attention to poor behaviour that they inadvertently give the message to children that the best way to get attention is to behave badly. It is important that you give lots of rewards for good behaviour.
Young children love rewards that can be taken home, so have badges, stickers, stamps and certificates for them to share with family and friends. These can mount up in the child's kitchen or bedroom as a source of positive feedback and pride.
Golden Time or Privilege Time is an effective system of rewards and sanctions that works with nursery-age children. The system we prefer teaches children that communities are prepared to put time and effort into safeguarding their moral values. Children learn that rewards are something that we earn and that unacceptable behaviour has consequences that are predictable, consistent and fair.
Golden Time is a short, daily event that works like this: 1 Tell the children that you believe they are all capable of keeping the Golden Rules and that you want to celebrate with them every day for keeping the rules so well.
2 This reward is called Golden Time, when special activities are enjoyed.
It is important that these activities really are special and are not used at other times. These can be whole-class activities like dancing or party games or board games, construction kits or clay modelling that are kept especially for Golden Time. You will need to change them around occasionally so children are excited by the prospect of their reward.
3 Children who have broken the rules lose their right to participate in some or all of this precious time.
4 Make a large, yellow sun wall display with a smiley face on it. The rays of the sun are yellow clothes pegs, painted grey on the reverse. Each peg has a nursery child's name printed on the yellow side of the peg, along with a small photograph of them. The sun represents Golden Time and shows the faces of all the children who are going to enjoy the privilege.
5 If a child breaks a Golden Rule, they are given a verbal warning. If they fail to respond, their peg is removed from the sun and placed on a half-sun and half-cloud picture. This stage offers the child a choice to heed the warning and be reinstated on the yellow sun or to be removed to a large picture of a sad grey cloud and lose Golden Time.
6 If the child continues to break the Golden Rules, their peg is placed on the sad cloud. But if they keep the rules, their peg is replaced on the smiley sun.
7 Golden Time is held for ten minutes at the end of every session. Any child with a peg on a cloud must sit away from the 'treat' area. Use a one minute sand-timer to show how long they must remain seated before being allowed to join in the fun. They must sit and watch the timer quietly and then they are invited back with a warm smile and a simple sentence, like, 'It is lovely to have you back with us having fun'.
On reflection
Think about a couple of situations that you have experienced recently - maybe a conversation with friends when you said something that you regret or, alternatively, a time you did something that makes you proud and happy.
Think about exactly what it was that made you feel embarrassed or pleased.
Did you feel 'bad' because you broke one of your moral rules by saying something that upset someone? Did you feel pleased because you did something that made someone feel happy? If so, you have touched on why moral values are so important - they have the power to make us feel uncomfortable or at ease with ourselves. You will see why teaching young children a set of moral values is vital to their successful development. NW
Further information
* The Golden Rule books are available in A3 (14.95) and A5 size (Pounds 5.95) from Positive Press Ltd, 01225 719204,
* e-mail: circletime@jennymosley.co.uk, website: www.circle-time.co.uk
If you have a child behaviour query that you would like answered, write to Nursery World, 66-68 East Smithfield, London E1W 1BX, fax 020 7782 3131 or e-mail: annette.rawstrone@nurseryworld.co.uk. All letters will be treated in the strictest confidence but only published questions will be answered.
