This is just one of the scenarios that staff at Glenbervie Kindergarten in Larbert, Falkirk, worked on recently at their coaching session, 'Improved Interaction through Effective Questioning'.
Following an inspection report that highlighted effective questioning as an area requiring improvement, nursery owner Helen Bell decided that some specific training would be of huge benefit to her staff.
'The local authority would have provided the training, but we would have had to wait some months for it,' says Ms Bell. 'I was keen to deal with the issues immediately, so I approached Lorraine Hamilton from SCOPE Coaching Services, who I had worked with before.'
Ms Hamilton is a professional coach who has worked with individuals from a wide range of organisations, sectors and levels. The training took place one evening after the nursery had shut, enabling all staff to attend.
'A big advantage was that we were able to get a large group of practitioners together in the evening for the session, which made it very cost-effective for them,' says Ms Hamilton.
The training involved exercises exploring 'open' and 'closed' questions, the effective use of 'why?' and the use of leading and probing questions.
Some short brainstorming sessions were followed by role play, as each group took part in various scenarios.
Helen Bell says, 'The staff who are experienced nursery practitioners said that it helped refresh them, while one girl who has just qualified said that it made her think differently about how she speaks and questions the children.'
She adds, 'There are definitely more questioning techniques being used in the nursery now. We have extended what Lorraine Hamilton gave us and are now getting more feedback from the children.'
Lorraine Campbell is supervisor for the three to five-year-old age group in the nursery, which has seen the biggest difference.
She says, 'I really enjoyed the training and have found the techniques useful for dealing with situations such as squabbling. It has transformed the learning experience, which is now based on feedback from questioning the children, and from extending the questioning.'
Empower yourself
Nurseries are also becoming switched on to the possibilities of communication and assertiveness coaching for their staff.
Holmwood Nursery School in Brixton, London, decided to bring in coach Cici Collins after her communications course proved so successful with parents.
Head teacher Sue Donovan says, 'Often in a large establishment, only some people tend to speak out. In the sessions Ms Collins spoke of how everyone has the right to think differently and express their views.'
The sessions covered how language can be used to empower ourselves and others. Ms Donovan explains, 'Cici discussed how we can make the leap from being powerless to powerful through communication. One example she gave was the use of the word "should". This is a word which is associated with authority, with guilt and frustration, whereas the word "could" is more powerful. She really emphasised the importance of positive beliefs.'
Ms Donovan was keen that all staff attended the training, from practitioners to office staff. 'Afterwards they were buzzing about it,' she says. 'The way the sessions were set up, there was something for everyone.'
Ms Collins does a lot of work in nursery schools and children's centres. She says, 'There is a lot of demand for life coaching, but also a lot of fear surrounding it, as it forces people to confront their actions.'
One problem is that many people don't understand what being assertive means. Ms Collins explains, 'People think that speaking their mind is being assertive, but often this crosses the boundary into aggressiveness. Assertiveness is about creating a win-win situation.'
Ms Collins encouraged the Holmwood nursery staff to examine their own language styles and how they might impact on others.
'We looked at the ways to handle mistakes,' she says. 'I've worked with a lot of staff who are so terrified of making mistakes that they never try something different. What might children pick up from this attitude?'
She also impressed on staff that around 85 per cent of human communication is non-verbal. 'We looked at areas such as eye contact and tone of voice, and thought about what effect this might have on the children,' she says.
Coaching is an activity that encourages individuals to question not only their own language, but their own behaviour.
'We ask, what could you do differently? What would be a great result, and if you weren't feeling angry, what would you feel?' says Ms Collins.
'When staff learn to pose their own coaching questions, they can carry the momentum themselves.'
She emphasises that the idea of life coaching is not to tell people what to do, but to make them think about their actions. 'We are not saying what they are doing is wrong, but instead we are offering an alternative.'
Further information: www.cicicollins.co.uk, www.scope-cs.com.
