The baby of the 14-year-old boy who had middle England aghast when he got his 12-year-old girlfriend pregnant last year is due in March. The boy has promised to stand by the mother of his child but will he? We all know that young single fathers, be they 14 or 24, are feckless and irresponsible. Or are they?
The truth, says Justin Rolph, director of the Mancroft Advice Project, an information, advice and counselling centre in Norwich for young people aged 11 to 25, could not be more different.
'It is not that young fathers abandon their children, but that maternity services, peers, and the mother's family and even the mother herself abandon the young father,' he says.
Justin Rolph is the author of a small study called Fathers Talking, published in October by Working With Men, a non-profit- making organisation set up in 1988. 'The study was an initiative that came very much from the men themselves,' says Justin, who interviewed 12 young fathers. 'Fatherhood was actually an issue they raised. In terms of research, we just allowed them to tell their own stories.
'There was a lot of anguish surrounding their isolation from their children's lives, their feeling that they had little to offer, and often a feeling from men who had been abandoned by their own fathers that they wanted to do better, and not repeat the pattern. Then there was a lot of anxiety and anger being generated by not being able to be the sort of father they had envisaged, for whatever reason.'
Fathers Talking reinforces the findings of an earlier study of 40 fathers aged 16 to 24 from Newcastle, called Young single fathers: participation in fatherhood barriers and bridges, published in 1997 by the Family Policy Studies Centre. Authors Suzanne Speak, Stuart Cameron and Rose Gilroy say young fathers are likely to be poor, with few qualifications and unemployed. They are also less likely to live with the child's mother than older fathers.
Asked if they thought that, in general, men could care for children as well as women, 29 out of the 40 young men interviewed said 'yes' and thought there was nothing inherently female about caring. So why, with these good intentions, is it so difficult for these men to be the sort of parent they would like to be?
Twenty-three out of the 40 young men said one of the main reasons they did not have more contact with their child was the mother's reluctance to allow it. Judith Corlyon, senior research officer at the National Children's Bureau, says that recent research with young mothers also confirms this. 'Many had a really dim view of these young men, and often they were not encouraged in any way to be part of the scene,' she says.
Some maternal grandparents in the study also discouraged the father from seeing his child although the majority, along with the paternal grandparents, supported his involvement.
But there were also practical problems. For instance, many of the young fathers 17 out of 40 had nowhere to take the baby. Many were still living in their parents' home and there was pressure on space. One young father said, '... me and my brother share a room, so it's not easy, so I sleep on the sofa when 'J' stays and he's in his Moses basket. But that's right for now, like.'
Other young men didn't feel they had suitable accommodation for a child and wished they had. 'I could have her back at my place but I don't like... not overnight... they're drunk and doing drugs... it's not right for a little lass...,' said one.
Another young father said he wanted '...a place of my own, with a room just for him like, so he'd know he had a home, another one and... it was there for him... like he had two homes.'
Mother and toddler groups didn't seem to provide an alternative either. Four of the young men in the Speak, Cameron and Gilroy study had attempted to visit parent and toddler groups with their children, but none had found the experience beneficial. They said they felt alienated from both the other mothers and the workers.
One father who regularly picked up his son from nursery said, 'I pick our 'D' up from nursery some days... but no one bothers with me. The lasses what work there don't ever talk to me about him. They know I'm his Dad, but they'd never tell me owt what he'd been up to or any problems like.'
Asked if he made the first move to speak to the staff, the young man replied, 'Nah, just let them alone. His mam tells me if I need to know owt.'
The maternity services may also exclude fathers, both young and old. A deluge of advice awaits a newly pregnant woman, whatever her circumstances, but until now there has been little for fathers. However, Fathers Direct, an information service launched in September, has produced the first fathers' guide to be included in the free Bounty Bag of products given to all expectant mothers. 'Fathers Direct director Duncan Fisher says, 'At the moment, the approach to young, unmarried fathers seems to be punitive, and I don't think that's helpful in the long run.'
Justin Rolph adds, 'For a young man whose self-esteem is already low, and for those who don't have an identity around employment, to see themselves so excluded creates a self-fulfilling prophecy. These are not self-confident, assertive young men they are very often disadvantaged themselves. But it doesn't mean that they should be written off further.'
Ironically, Prime Minister Tony Blair's announcement that under-age fathers will be pursued by the Child Support Agency (CSA) from the moment they turn 16 and start earning may have the opposite effect to that intended. Although all the young men interviewed in Young single fathers saw low income as a problem, some felt that they would lose out by working. Not only had they heard stories of working friends being 'caught' by the CSA and ending up worse off financially than on income support, but several thought that they wouldn't see their children if they worked during the day.
One said, ''K' (child's mother) gets depression, you know... not depression really but right low. She's on something from the docs... I think she'd find it too hard. At least I can take our 'L' (daughter), give her a break, like. She'll have a place at school in September. I'll do it then (look for a job).'
Twenty-nine out of 40 of the young fathers paid maintenance in some form ranging from a few pounds a week, taken directly out of their Income Support by the CSA, to 15 a week from men who were working. They admitted they often did not pay it as regularly as the mothers would like, but maintenance caused surprisingly few difficulties between the parents.
What did cause anger was the deduction of maintenance from the mother's Income Support so that she was no better off, and it was common practice to buy gifts for the child to avoid this happening. One father said, 'I'll not give her no money... I'd rather buy things for the kid, shoes and that and toys... every week, she never goes without. I'll not give her money regular like because I know they'll (Benefits Agency) take it off her social (Income Support).'
The authors of the Family Policy Studies Centre report admit that they interviewed young fathers who were especially keen to maintain contact with their children. But Young single fathers and Fathers Talking clearly show that it is often impossible for young fathers to be 'good fathers' in the conventional sense to commit themselves to a 'proper' job or independent home and provide materially for the mother and child might mean moving to another area and losing day-to-day contact. The picture is certainly more complex than one of a disaffected youth kicking cans and 'forgetting' to wear condoms. l
Fathers Talking is available from Working with Men (0181 308 0709), which also produces a fatherhood pack with posters. Young single fathers: participation in fatherhood barriers and bridges is available from the Family Policy Studies Centre (0171 486 8211).
