It must be the most difficult position for a nanny to be in. You started the job months, or even years ago with high hopes; the parents were positive and the children were happy. They had their ups and downs, like all families, but managed to muddle through. But there seemed to come a point where the arguments and silences took a more serious turn. Now your employers have decided to separate. What will it mean for the children - and for you?
David Spellman is a chartered clinical psychologist working with children and families for the NHS in Lancashire. He agrees that being a live-in nanny in this situation must be enormously difficult. Officially, a nanny is not a member of the family but an employee, with all the formality of a contract of employment, job expectations and regular wages. 'Yet you may be loved like a member of the family,' he says. And, of course, a nanny who is loved can't help but feel emotionally tied.
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