In 1986 a tragedy involving a young child occurred locally and parents using the Pen Green Centre became anxious about their children's safety.
They realised they could not always be with their children to protect them from danger.
Parents were also worried about how their children would cope in the school playground, where they had heard many stories of bullying.
In a culture of 'playing out with siblings', how could we ensure that our youngest children were kept safe and did not wander off without telling an adult?
In addition, there was concern from parents and staff about child protection issues. The parents using the Pen Green Centre at the time asked the staff team to see how we could help their children to protect themselves by becoming more assertive.
We approached a consultant and discussed with parents what would help to keep children safe. We decided to run some sessions for the older children in the nursery to discuss the issues in small groups. We hoped that the discussions in these groups would enable children to try out being more assertive.
Our philosophy
We were keen that the sessions reflect our philosophy:
Children should feel strong
Children should feel in control
Children should feel able to question
Children should feel able to choose
* Pen Green curriculum document, 1984
Planning the sessions
From observing the children in the nursery, discussions with parents and colleagues from social services and health services, and discussions with our consultant, we planned four sessions for the children, to run on four consecutive weeks:
* Learning to be strong at school
* Learning to be strong outside school
* Preparing children to deal with strangers
* Preparing children to protect themselves from harm.
We planned for two members of staff to work with five or six children plus an observer and make a written record of the discussion. Each session would last no longer than 15 minutes.
The programme was piloted with small groups of children in the summer, weeks before leaving nursery to go to primary school. The same adults worked with the same small group of children each week. There was time afterwards to reflect on what had happened.
Learning to be strong
The 'Learning to be strong' sessions have evolved over the years. Some years ago we added a fifth session, focusing on 'Friendships and conflict'.
We had noticed that the younger children were more concerned with conflict rather than bullying and less able to communicate their needs verbally, and we felt that it was useful to explore this issue with the children.
Resources
* A family of adult and child dolls that the children do not use at any other time
* John Burningham's book The Friend (Red Fox)
* A train or tape measure, something popular that could be shared or played with by one child
* The favourite nursery bike, or whatever object was causing conflict at that time
* A Lego street built to resemble streets in our local community and play people
* A Little Tikes car, used only during the programme
* Real sweets
Professional development for staff
Each year staff members meet for a whole day to prepare for the 'Learning to be strong' sessions. In the early days, this was always with a consultant, often a social worker. More recently the day has been led by the head of nursery.
As well as facing up to their own fears at the meeting, staff members discuss any worries about individual children or family events of which we are aware. The worries expressed are sometimes about children's understanding or ability to express their ideas.
Working with parents
Before beginning the sessions, we hold a meeting for parents to talk through the sessions and to gain their written consent for their child to participate. We will carry out a home visit to talk this through, if parents wish.
We gather information from parents about where their children are allowed to play. This is not to make judgements but to support the parents and to explore with children their knowledge of where they are allowed to play, using the Lego street.
We also make sure we know about which children live in two homes and which children spend time with childminders or with grandparents. The rules and boundaries can be different in different homes.
The 'Learning to be strong' sessions
1 Friendship and conflict
This first session is important in establishing the importance of meeting together as a group and talking about 'very important things'. The children call it their 'special group'. The group meet in the same place each week, usually the dining room. The chairs for the five or six children and two adults are in a circle and the observer sits just outside the circle.
Each person introduces themselves and one of the adults defines the role of the observer as 'someone who watches and listens but doesn't talk and writes down the important things we say and do'.
One adult tells the story of The Friend and leads a discussion about what you do when your friend does not want to play with you. Then the adults introduce two child dolls who role-play playing and sharing a toy. The adults invite children to have a turn role-playing with one of the dolls.
The session ends with each person saying who they are, to signal clearly that the role playing has ended - important for the later sessions.
2 Bullying
The second session follows the same format: introductions followed by a discussion and role play. During this session one of the adults asks, 'Can you say bully?' and 'What might a bully do?'
After gathering children's ideas, we talk about what we could say to a bully. We gather ideas about what to do, such as shouting 'NO!' or asking for help. Children practise saying 'No' alone, shouting 'No' alone and then together.
The two adults engage in a role play with the favourite bike or large toy.
One adult, taking the role of a child, rides the bike while the other adult, in the role of a child (bully), shouts and tries to take the bike from them. The adults invite the children to have a turn at riding the bike and trying out strategies to deal with the bully. The session again ends with each person saying who they are.
3 Play boundaries at home
Again, this session follows the same format: introductions, discussion and role play. After the introductions, the adults bring up the idea that they are going to talk about where the children are allowed to play when they are at home. This varies from 'the garden' to 'as far as the lamp post' to 'the park'.
Often the children spend time in two homes and the boundaries are different. The workers support the children in articulating these boundaries, for example, saying, 'And what about when you are at your Daddy's? ...or Granny's?'
After the children have shared their ideas, the workers introduce the Lego street and play people. The workers engage in role play using the play people. A child doll is in the garden and his mum or dad is in the house.
Some older doll children come past and ask the younger child doll to go to the park with them. The child doll asks his mum or dad, who says 'No, you must stay in the garden'. The child doll tells the older children that they are not allowed to go. Children are invited to have a turn being the child doll.
Often a child will try out going with the older children. In this instance, the adult doll comes out and calls their child, sounding very worried that they have left the garden. The session ends with a positive scenario.
4 Dealing with strangers
The group begins with introductions, sharing ideas about what a 'stranger'
is or does, and an explanation of a stranger is given. The discussion is followed by a role play. In this case two adult dolls come along in a car and offer a child doll real sweets. The child doll says, 'No. I'm going to tell my mum'. The car leaves.
Again the children are offered the opportunity to participate in the role of the child doll. Some children try out going with the strangers to get the sweets. In this case, we emphasise that the doll does not get the sweets and 'it's a nasty horrible trick'.
5 Feelings
After the introductions, the adults bring up the idea of 'feelings' - what makes you feel excited, warm, happy inside or sad, scared, angry, worried, or what gives you a funny feeling in your tummy. The adults say the words with real feeling and gestures to evoke the children's feelings.
After the discussion, the adults role-play with an adult doll looking after a child doll. They are playing together and the adult doll asks the child doll, 'Do you want to play my secret game?' The child says, 'No' and goes to tell their mum. Again, the children are invited to role-play using the child doll. If a child says, 'Yes', then we continue the role play and the adult doll insists that the child doll keeps it a secret and not to tell anyone. We emphasise that the children should never have to keep secrets and that they always tell an adult. Again, we end on a positive note.
Final points
* We always end with a positive message, with the adults repeating the role-play scenario if necessary.
* If a child makes a disclosure of any kind, we acknowledge the child and make time afterwards to listen to what they have to say.
* Parents receive written feedback after each session about how their child has responded and can discuss the feedback with staff immediately.
* We have an annual review of how we speak to children, but have noticed the programme has strengthened the messages we give them and our philosophy of helping children to feel strong.
* We now run the five sessions once a year on alternate weeks, so that there are opportunities to discuss, follow up with appropriate linked stories at group time or run catch-up sessions for children who have missed sessions.
* 'Learning to be strong' is embedded in our values and beliefs about how young children learn, but children do need time to practise and assimilate their ideas before they become competent and assertive individuals. NW Angela Prodger is head of nursery and Cath Arnold is deputy director at the Pen Green Centre, Corby, Northamptonshire
