Picture the scene - a crowded public place, and suddenly a young voice pipes up, 'Why is that man wearing a dress?' Such moments are common and while they provide a source of amusing anecdotes, they also reveal the way in which children are beginning to think about appearance.
To understand this type of innocent question involves looking at the journey on which children are learning about appearances. This begins very early on in life and starts with the human face.
Babies quickly learn to recognise faces. Research suggests that babies of only one or two days old can already distinguish between their mother's face and that of a similar-looking stranger. This ability to recognise and differentiate between faces is thought to be instinctive, and recent developments in neuroscience have shown doctors which part of the brain is responsible for face recognition.
Interestingly, it seems that by two or three months, babies may also be focusing on expressions and have preferences towards attractive and smiling faces.
At nine months, babies' interest in faces means that they react differently to men's and women's faces and see them as distinctly different.
Surprisingly, self-recognition comes much later. While babies are interested in looking at themselves in mirrors, it is not until they reach around 20 months that they know they are seeing themselves. Around this time we also find that many children are beginning to use their own names, saying phrases such as 'Jack dink' (Jack's drink).
Gender identity
Finding out about gender comes along with self-recognition. At around two years most children are able to say whether they are a boy or a girl.
Working out what it means to be a girl or a boy is then the next step, and one of the ways children do this is through looking at appearances. This means that by the age of three years, most children are able to identify the gender of other children and often do this by noticing clothing and hair length.
Some children at this point develop quite strong clothing preferences for themselves. For example, they may refuse to wear a certain item of clothing if it does not fit in with their view of what they should be wearing! This is thought to be because while children have learned a little about gender, they have not yet understood about gender constancy. In their eyes, if they are a boy, yet wear an item of girls' clothing, they might become a girl.
Children from three years upwards are often trying to categorise appearance. Anything that does not quite fit in with their thinking can become of great interest. This is why comments such as, 'Why has that woman got hair on her face?' start emerging. The child is quite likely to be fascinated because their view of what a woman should and shouldn't look like is being challenged.
A tall order
Handling situations where children make comments about other children's or adults' appearance therefore requires great sensitivity and tact. This is why it is important for children to see a wide range of positive images of both adults and children.
Alongside noticing appearances, children also quickly learn that appearances seem important to adults. The messages that they pick up about their appearance will eventually contribute towards their self-concept and over time their self-esteem. Sadly, the messages that some children pick up mean that their perception of themselves can result in low self-esteem.
A good example of the way in which adults often comment about a child's physical appearance is height. Comments such as 'You have really grown since I last saw you', or 'Isn't he tall for his age?' tend to be quite common. Children may learn that being tall or not is something very noticeable and this can become a huge source of anxiety.
It has been well documented that in our society, short people are discriminated against, for example in the job market. This might possibly have its roots back in childhood, as adults respond differently to children according to their physical size. Children who are tall for their age are often given more responsibility, as adults' expectations of them are higher. While this may help many children to gain confidence, when the expectations are not achievable it can cause the child difficulties. At the same time, children who are shorter than their peers or small for their age may be 'babied' and not be given the same opportunities for independence.
Alongside height, children are conscious of the importance that adults attach to body size. While few adults would dream of commenting on a child personally, children overhear more and more conversations about dieting and losing weight. This can spill over into their lives with quite worrying consequences. Dietitians are now reporting that children, especially girls, in some cases as young as five years old, have become so anxious about being fat that they refuse food. This should act as a sharp reminder for us all about how easily children pick up on adults' attitudes.
STUDENT LINKS
This article links to unit C5 of the NVQ 3 in Early Years Childcare and Education.
Evidence collector If you are a student, you may wish to carry out the following observation. Remember to consult with your supervisor and/or the parents if necessary.
Observation A classic test to see if a toddler has developed self-recognition is to dab a little lipstick on to a child's nose and then to encourage the child to look at himself in the mirror. Try this with babies and toddlers of different ages from eight months upwards.
If the child has self-recognition, he should touch his own nose rather than point to the reflection. The theory is that the child has then realised that the lipstick is on himself.
