Young children gradually build up their learning of how to behave both socially and morally. Their actions, and their ideas about what to do or not to do, link closely with their abilities in other areas of development and their experience of life so far.
Early years practitioners and parents need to pay close attention to a child's age, otherwise expectations can be unrealistic and, from the child's perspective, unfair. But developmental patterns for behaviour do not follow rigid stages. Children's actual experience is a strong influence on how they behave in daily situations where they have choices to make, as the following case study illustrates.
The team at one pre-school has given thought to how best to support considerate behaviour between children who range from two and a half to four years old. Staff work hard to avoid bald instructions to 'be nice to each other'. Instead, they make the effort to set good examples of considerate behaviour and praise good behaviour.
The consequence has been that the slightly older children enjoy helping the younger ones, because they recognise that they have a choice.
The pre-school has a simple self-registration system for popular play materials. Angie, nearly three years old, has been overheard checking with four-year-old Tim about how to book her slot on the technology table. Angie asks, 'Is this my name? Do I put it here?' Tim looks and replies, 'Yes, well done! That is your name and that is your picture. You need to put your card in this pocket.'
Ages and stages
The developmental stage theories of Jean Piaget have been a strong influence on early years practice in the UK. Practitioners have often also been taught how Lawrence Kohlberg developed Piaget's ideas to create a six- stage theory about moral development. But the 'ages and stages' approach offers only limited support to early years practitioners faced with real children responding to real situations:
* The potential advantage of considering stages in how children learn to behave is that it can stimulate adults to tune into how young children probably think about common situations.
* A major disadvantage of the stage theories is that Piaget and Kohlberg focused on moral reasoning: the thinking that underpins the behaviour choices that children say they would make. This emphasises the intellectual side of development, with less attention paid to the role of emotions which can override cool logic.
* The research behind the stage theory depended on asking children about hypothetical situations, but in daily life precise details of a situation shape how children behave. That is why children want you to understand the run-up to a situation. For example, four-year-old Sammy knows he shouldn't have pushed Yasmin. But Sammy had asked nicely, he had done all the things he was supposed to do, but Yasmin still kept messing up his game.
* A further problem arises from Piaget's conviction that children younger than four to five years of age were 'egocentric': unable to take the perspective of another person or put someone else's needs first. Yet daily observation of children in an emotionally supportive group setting disproves this claim. Children as young as two years old, who feel emotionally secure, do show that they are aware of the feelings of others.
'Prosocial' behaviour
Researchers like Nancy Eisenberg have described how young children are able to behave with the emotional needs of others as the priority. The focus on prosocial behaviour is a practical way to build a developmental focus into daily practice, yet avoid an unhelpful 'ages and stages' focus.
* Children are more able to be emotionally generous to others when they feel their own needs will be met. Early years practitioners observe that even toddlers notice when other children are distressed. They will offer a cuddly toy or call an adult's attention to a crying child.
* Three-and four-year-olds develop a sense of time that means they can wait a while. This understanding makes turn-taking a more practical proposition. But young children need to feel confident that waiting leads to getting their turn. Children will not learn the behaviour of taking turns if their observation and thinking tells them that in this playgroup waiting means not getting. Children also notice if adults are quick to demand of them, 'You must share', but are slow to curb the actions of any grabbers and shovers.
* Practitioners should think through the implications of their words and actions - do we really intend that 'sharing' means co-operative children hand over a book or play materials as soon as another child asks for them? What if they have not finished? How can you and your friend make a decent brick castle if everybody who comes into the block area has a fair share of the materials?
* Part of adult support for important social skills has to be modelling ways that children can ask for a turn with phrases like, 'Can I have some..?' or 'Have you finished..?' Three-and four-year-olds can also be adept at using props such as sand timers or simple forms of self registration for popular activities. Such practical techniques suit young children's time scale, but they also support that early philosophical concept of fairness.
* Helpful adults can also model ways to respond for the children who are asked to share. Fair turn-taking has to sometimes allow children to say, 'I'm still using it' and have that request honoured. Children, who are confident that adults will support fairness, are then far more likely to say, 'Now I've finished with using these scissors' or to offer trades with, 'I need these tubes but you can have this paper for your rocket.'
FURTHER INFORMATION
Links to NVQ Level 3 Early Years Childcare and Education
* C5 Promote children's social and emotional development
* C5.2 Enable children to relate to others
* C7 Provide a framework for the management of behaviour
* C7.2 Promote positive aspects of behaviour Further reading
* Nancy Eisenberg (1992) The caring child Harvard University Press
* Jennie Lindon (1998) Understanding child development: knowledge, theory and practice Thomson Learning (especially chapter six)
* Jillian Rodd (1996) Understanding young children's behaviour: a guide for early years professionals Allen and Unwin
TIPS TO EXPLORE PRACTICE
Helpful adults need to consider the practical details of how children learn social skills, such as turn-taking. This prosocial behaviour promotes harmony in group settings and homes. Unreflective adults may get no further than, 'You ought to share' or 'It's not nice to grab'.
* Discuss in your team the separate steps in learning the social skills of turn-taking.
* Consider what ways you offer practical help to children of different ages. Do you model for children the ways to ask for something or whether they can join a group to play? Can children hear from you some ways to say courteously that they have not finished yet or to offer a trade?
* With the children's involvement, identify spaces or resources in your setting that are so popular that children's social skills are over-stretched. Introduce timers or other devices suggested by staff or children.
