While children will squabble from time to time, they are usually practising negotiating techniques. The skill for adults is to know when to step in or step back and let them get on with it, explains Anne O'Connor.

Fran and Lauren are happily playing together. They are chatting away and appear to be enjoying each other's company. That is, until they both reach for the same toy and an argument ensues.

Fran reacts and hits Lauren. She instantly realises that Lauren is hurt and offended, so tries to make friends. Fran then apologises and gives Lauren a cuddle. But Lauren is still upset and shows Fran that she is not yet ready to make up by turning away from her.

Fran is disgruntled at first that her apology didn't work, but doesn't give up and tries a different approach. She suggests a new game to which Lauren responds, and they are soon happily playing together again.

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