Building dens is a natural and important pastime in children's social and emotional development. Anne O'Connor explores how adults can support this form of play while respecting children's need for privacy

Seb (three years 11 months) and Chelsea (four years two months) have made a den outside. Seb is the 'dad', but Chelsea wants to be the 'little girl' and wonders who will be the 'mum'? Seb suggests that the mum has died and they go inside the den, talking about how they will manage.

Chelsea then becomes the dying mum and suggests that the dad should work as a doctor so he can look after her. Seb, however, would rather be a policeman. They talk for a while about dead people.

Chelsea suggests using Seb's plastic tube as a stethoscope. He pretends to listen to her heartbeat. He tells her he can't hear it and that he is going off to catch a ghost. He invites her to come too, but she reminds him that she can't because she is dead. He tells her she can't be because she is still talking. Then the two of them chat about how they built the den themselves and how lovely it would be to eat their dinner inside it.

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