So, are you sitting comfortably...?
Subversion!
Beware of the Bears! by Alan MacDonald and Gwyneth Williamson, (Little Tiger Press, 4.99,) reveals that the bears are on an almost Mafia-style quest for vengeance after Goldilocks' violation of their personal space - 'Go after her! Find out where she lives!' Daddy Bear orders Baby Bear, and he means it. The 'family' race to Goldilocks' cottage and when they discover there's no porridge, they trash the place.
The important thing that the bears discover during their rampage, however, apart from the fact that they can do the bossa nova while jumping on the sofa (no mean feat, even for bears), is that they are in the wrong place at the wrong time. When Goldilocks enters the cottage to have yet another 'nose around' at someone else's property they realise their error - 'Whose house is it?' Daddy Bear asks. Cue the Big Bad Wolf.
Telephone 020 7385 6333 www.littletigerpress.com
The Giant That Sneezed by Norma Leach, illustrated by Toni Goffe, (Child's Play, hardback, 9.99). The giant here is not only vegetarian but has severe allergies, on top of which Jack, descendant of 'Grandpa Jack, the great giant killer', has some real family issues that need to be dealt with. Jack is eventually reunited with his missing father, who is a tree dweller, and learns also that he should have had grommets as a child because he misheard his father's most important message of 'kind giants, fill them' as 'find giants, kill them'. Once that little misunderstanding is dealt with, the giant, Jack's mother, Jack, his father and an attractive giantess set up home together in des res tree top units.
Telephone 01793 616286 www.childs-play.com
The Truth about Hansel and Gretel by Karina Law and Elke Counsell (Watts, 3.99) is a vehicle for the infamous witch to retell the story from her point of view and in her own words. Allegedly, the witch constructed a beautiful house: 'I decorated it myself with all my favourite sweets,' and claims that all the stories we have read about her in the past are not true. The witch insists there has been a smear campaign (strawberry lollipop walls being licked by Gretel, that sort of thing) in the local press, instigated by three bear reporters, and in the local community of woodcutters, wolves and other familiar figures. The readers are left to decide for themselves if this story has any credibility and there is a subtle clue on the last page. This book is part of the Hopscotch series and is intended to fit the requirements of the National Literacy Strategy.
Telephone 020 7739 2929 www.gm@wattspub.co.uk
Gender benders!
Beware of Girls by Tony Blundell (Puffin, 4.99) explodes the myth that blonde girls who live in rural cottages are gullible and that wolves are crafty and canny. Reading, or rather looking at the pictures, in a copy of Little Red Riding Hood, inspires the wolf in this tale. Hoping to recreate the dream he knocks on the door of the first cottage he comes across and thinks he is in luck when he encounters little Red Riding Hood's stunt double. However, this time round the wolf is put through a series of hurdles in order to satisfy the little girl's demands to match his likeness to her grandmother. The wolf has to be wearing the right dress, able to make a yummy trifle, and obtain some doggy treats for the girl's perceptive pet. The wolf's willingness to don a dress, eccentric hat, red high-heeled shoes and, all importantly, attach a pack of colourful balloons to his own tail, contribute to his downfall and the little girl even gets to enjoy eating all of the wolf's culinary efforts.
Telephone 020 7010 3000 www.penguin.com
There's not a simpering princess or fire-breathing dragon to be seen anywhere in The Princess and the Dragon by Audrey Wood, (Child's Play, 4.99). On the contrary, the princess has a 'Don't touch me! I'm perfect' attitude that leaves everyone around her in tears or in shock.
Nobody can please her ladyship and she spends the whole time playing devilish tricks upon unsuspecting old knights and generally acting as a poor role model for all the children in the kingdom. Meanwhile, in the dragon's lair there lives a piano-playing, perfectly-mannered, mythical monster who is so cultured that when he/she swaps lives with the princess nobody in the kingdom notices, or so they say.
Telephone as before
Cinderboy by Laurence Anholt and Arthur Robins, (Orchard Books, 3.99), is part of the Seriously Silly series, intended for 'fluent readers'
but which can, as they are packed with very distinctive black and white illustrations, be read aloud effectively. Cinderboy is dominated by his cruel stepfather and slobbish stepbrothers and the whole family are football crazy. When the gruesome trio get to go to the cup final and wave their pink scarves in excitement Cinderboy is left behind watching the TV.
This is fortunate because it is via the TV that Cinderboy, or 'Cindy' as his TV Godmother calls him, gets to fulfil his greatest wish and don the pink silk strip of his team, Royal Palace United. Cinderboy plays the game of his life in his, obviously David Beckham-inspired, glass-studded boots but, sadly, loses one when he's in the throes of kicking the ball in the net and saving the day.
It would spoil it to say any more but suffice to say that the end of the story involves a glass boot-fitting session and a new signing for Royal Palace United.
Telephone 020 7739 2929 www.gm@wattspub.co.uk
Modernisation!
Fairy Tale Secrets by Marion Rose and Edward Eaves, (Orchard Books, hardback, 10.99), provides some cheering addendums to well-known tales that should amuse and reassure us all. Now we are told, for example, that Rapunzel has a mobile phone with her in her tower and is able to text her friends to arrange parties, so there's no need to worry about her having 'a sad and lonely lifestyle'. It's also good news that Robin Hood is just as keen on doing the housework and cooking as he is on fighting and swashbuckling and that Snow White is equally adept at motorbike mechanics as she is at ironing the dwarves' shirts.
Telephone as before
The Three Little Wolves and the Big Bad Pig by Eugene Trivizas and Helen Oxenbury, (Egmont, hardback, 14.99) features 'three cuddly little wolves with soft fur and fluffy tails' and a pig who, apparently, is not labelled big and bad so much because he 'huffs' and 'puffs' when he's trying to demolish the wolves' house but because he goes at it with a sledgehammer. This kind of activity obviously distracts the little wolves from their game of 'battledore and shuttlecock in the garden' but, thanks to their video entrance phone, they are still not tempted to let him in their house, which forces the pig to resort to using dynamite. Thankfully, 'the wolves manage to escape with just their fluffy tails scorched' and they cleverly resort to building a new house made from flowers, the scent of which is so beautiful that the pig, after a mere few sniffs, transforms into a good pig and becomes friends with the wolves.
This book is in large format for comfortable reading to a group and it contains dramatic pop-up features to grab everyone's attention.
Telephone 020 7762 3500.
