Barnardo's launches campaign to help parents talk to children about bereavement

The guidance is being released by Barnardo’s in response to there being more than 140,000 deaths from Covid-19 in the UK during the past year.

The charity has provided seven tips for helping a child to cope with the death of someone that they are close to:

1. Be open and honest

Parents and other adults need to help children understand the concept of death and this is best done by giving your child clear, age-appropriate, honest information on a frequent basis.

2. How to explain a death to a child

It is important to try to use the word ‘dead’ or ‘death’ rather than phrases such as ‘gone to sleep’, ‘lost’ or ‘gone to a better place’ because these phrases can cause confusion for young children and lead to unnecessary anxiety.

Young children need to be told repeatedly that when someone dies they can never come back. It is important to explain that the dead person doesn’t eat, sleep, or feel any pain.

3. Explain how a person died

Children benefit from having the cause of the death explained to them simply and in a language that they understand. There is a risk that if children are not given a clear explanation, they may blame themselves or create their own story around the death.

4. Help them to understand the concept of death

Following a death, children, can become very anxious and often have difficulty separating from family members. It helps them to regain confidence in the world if they can understand the concept of death. It is important that a child understands that everyone dies at some time, but most people don’t die until they are older.

5. Help them understand it isn’t their fault

Children often blame themselves when someone special dies so need to hear that nothing we think or say can cause death.

   6. Help them to say goodbye

Sadly, as result of infection control many families will not have the opportunity to spend time with someone who is dying or say goodbye in person. Where it is possible, maybe suggest to the children that you write your own book about favourite memories of time spent together. This may help your family capture some memories.

7. Take care of yourself

Doing the best you can at this time is all that your children need. Take time to care for yourself and allow yourself to feel, even though it is painful.

Keep to routines such as mealtimes, getting up time, and getting washed and dressed, as well as bed time. As well as helping yourself, keeping to routines and boundaries following a bereavement helps children to feel safe.

Black people and men of Pakinstani and Bangladeshi heritage are almost twice as likely to die from Covid-19 as White people, meaning that children from these communities are more likely to experience loss and need support.

Barnardo’s is also launching  a new TV advert in its Believe in Me campaign which highlights the importance of support services for children and young people who have experienced bereavement, loss or grief.

Chief executive of Barnardo’s Javed Khan said that the charity believes that, with the right support, all children can recover from trauma and work towards a positive future.

‘Our latest TV advert features a young boy suffering from grief after the death of his mother. Sadly, these raw emotions will be familiar to thousands of children and families across the UK, especially during the Covid-19 pandemic,’ he said.

‘Children have suffered a huge amount of loss in the last year. For most this has meant missing out on school and playing with their friends, but for too many children it has meant the loss of parents, grandparents and members of their family or community - especially those from Black, Asian and Minority Ethnic communities.

‘I hope that parents find our tips useful in supporting their children through their grief and coming to terms with what has happened.’