Non-Verbal Communication - Self expression

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Two-year-olds are one of the most exciting groups of children to work with, but can also be the most tiring. ‘Two-year-olds usually possess boundless energy and a huge drive to find out about the world through exploration and curiosity,’ says Kay Rooks, early years learning and teaching adviser at Focus on Learning.

‘They want to be independent and often their outbursts are due to the frustration of not being able to do something by themselves. They can get so immersed in their experiences they do not hear instructions, or even their name.’

COMMUNICATING THROUGH BEHAVIOUR

Challenging behaviour such as screaming, shouting, biting and throwing things, which is often associated with the ‘terrible twos’, can spring from a young child not being able to work out how to communicate their feelings in an acceptable way, or not knowing how to make a need met.

‘A two-year-old’s only means of expressing how they feel is sometimes to explode like a firework; they don’t yet have the neurological development for self-regulation; to allow them to recognise their feelings and communicate them,’ says Suffolk-based early years teacher Mel Hieatt, who has been working with two-year-olds for more than ten years. ‘For them it’s a bit like the stereotype of being British in a foreign country – they think if they shout loudly enough, we will understand.’

‘Behaviour is communication,’ says Sue Fisher, independent education consultant. ‘They are trying to tell us something, and it is about understanding what the message is. Is a child clinging to you, when they are usually happy? If so, what is different about today?’ Through their behaviour, such children may be telling adults ‘I am frustrated!’ or ‘I am anxious’.

‘Our role is to model and scaffold the processes of learning so the child can manage simple experiences for themselves,’ says Ms Rooks. ‘These would include all of the self-help experiences to support them to fulfil their own needs, such as toileting, hand-washing, choosing their own snack and dressing. Praise and encouragement will aid the child to become more independent and so less frustrated.’

READING MEANING

In order to read what a particular two-year-old is communicating through their behaviour, a practitioner needs to know how they react to different situations. ‘The key to understanding a child’s non-verbal communication is really knowing the child, and parents are key for practitioners to help them understand how a child communicates, and so is a strong key person system,’ says Ms Fisher. Settings should consider including questions and information about children’s emotional expression in their ‘all about me’ or one-page profiles, she adds.

‘It is very helpful to record on a document how children respond in different ways; for example, “how do I respond when I am anxious” or “angry”. Sometimes what a practitioner is seeing is not what a child is trying to tell us,’ she continues. ‘For example, a child might be constantly smiling, but actually they are very nervous and have learned that they get a good reaction when they smile. Or they might not understand what you are saying but they think, “if I smile it might be OK”.’

‘Typical two-year-old children have strong emotions and use their whole body to display these,’ says Ms Rooks. ‘Adults must work with the children to help them understand their feelings and have words for their emotions.’

Because two-year-olds communicate and learn with their whole body, it is important to give them space to do so. Children might want to dance or spin around while engaged in an activity, so ensure areas are not cluttered with tables and chairs.

Two-year-olds are telling us something through their play behaviour, says Ms Hieatt. ‘The way they play is how they express their fascinations and understanding of how the world works.’

Schematic play is patterns of behaviour that may be repeated across a number of areas such as drawing, physical activities and role play. ‘They can be an informative way of analysing children’s thinking,’ Ms Hieatt explains.

For example, if a child is repeatedly posting toast into the slot of the DVD player, they are telling you they are interested in object permanence and containing things. This is a containing schema. Practitioners can respond to this by including suitable activities and resources into their planning for that child and by explaining it to the child’s parents.

ADULT BEHAVIOUR

As well as reading a child’s non-verbal communication, adults need to be aware of the role their own facial expressions, body language and tone of voice play.

‘Two-year-old children understand many words, but it is not necessary to speak in long, complicated sentences when engaged in providing direction or giving instructions to this age group,’ says Ms Rooks. ‘Adults must learn to choose their words carefully and use hand signals and linked body language to support their language.’

Two-year-olds watch adults very closely, so the facial expressions, gestures and words together help the child to understand the request. ‘Using hand signals and signs can support adults to communicate with two-year-old children who are still trying to use words and their listening and attention skills are still developing,’ Ms Rooks explains.

SOCIAL REFERENCING

A two-year-old is developing the ability to pause before acting, learning social boundaries. Two-year-olds learn a lot from the facial expressions of adults. ‘Social referencing’ is what can be seen when a young child glances at a trusted adult to seek approval for something they are about to do.

Children may respond to an adult’s facial expression of approval or disapproval by either continuing or stopping what they were about to do. Practitioners can support children to use their ‘pause button’ before acting through both verbal and non-verbal communication, by coming down to the child’s level, smiling, and saying the child’s name followed by ‘you remembered’.

It is important that an adult’s behaviour is consistent, as children are building a knowledge base about appropriate ways to behave. ‘We often give children mixed messages – our words may say no but our tone of voice or body language may say yes, and children get confused about what we want them to do,’ says Ms Hieatt.

‘They need to know what is required of them; sometimes an adult might say “don’t do that” but laugh. Or they might say “no, don’t do that” while they are actually focused on something else and are not emotionally available, so the child thinks “this is not really upsetting you, so I can continue”. Practitioners and parents need to demonstrate their meaning in words, expression and actions.’

‘Social referencing’ also teaches empathy, as children learn appropriate emotional reactions to particular situations by glancing at adult facial expressions and body language. ‘Children pick up on adult responses, they watch the adults to see how they react to things,’ says Ms Fisher. ‘You can see this in their representative play when they are copying adults.’

DEALING WITH FRUSTRATION

While a lot of two-year-old reactions are driven by frustration, adults can also feel frustrated when confronted with challenging behaviour from this age group. ‘When a practitioner can’t understand what a child is trying to say, they may feel irritation or panic,’ says Ms Hieatt.

‘Try to overcome that; find a calm quiet place and get down to the child’s level, otherwise you won’t be able to read the signs, you will just have a whirling dervish at your feet. Then you can ask them to show you what the problem is; you may need to use actions, pointing or pictures. In our setting, we use keyrings with a choice of pictures, or photos can work better for two-year-olds. It’s still hit and miss, but maybe 50 per cent of the time it will work.’

Ms Rooks says, ‘The expression “count to ten” often springs to mind when working with this age group as they seem to be able to move very quickly, inside and outside, and they can add water to paint or sand to water in the blink of an eye!

‘Patience is important as we must always remember these children are exploring and experiencing things independently for the first time in their lives and our response is crucial, for if it is a negative response it may prevent them from exploring in that particular way again.’

Adults must stop, think and watch carefully to see the learning that is taking place before jumping in to tidy up or remove the child from the experience, Ms Rooks says. ‘We must close our eyes to the mess and untidiness that two-year-old children can make and see it for the rich learning experiences that they are gaining.’

‘What adults need to do is take responsibility for their part in a child’s behaviour, and look at whether you are giving out negative messages,’ says Ms Fisher. ‘You can’t take one area of development in isolation, particularly with two-year-olds. The key is about how safe and secure they feel.’

Ms Rooks agrees. ‘Two-year-old children should be in provisions where adults are like model parents, firm and consistent but also showing love, encouragement and support,’ she says. ‘Creating a cosy, home-like provision will help children to feel safe and secure, and providing a key person for each child will help them become attached to a particular adult with whom they can form a strong bond.’

FURTHER READING

Tuning into Two-Year-Olds by Emma Ackerman, Sue Fisher and Julie Revels. Harrow Council and 4Children, www.foundationyears.org.uk/files/2014/11/2yo_toolkit.pdf

Two-Year-Olds in Early Years Settings: Journeys of Discovery by Julia Manning Morton. Open University Press

Understanding Schemas in Young Children: Again, Again! by Stella Louis and Clare Beswick. Featherstone