As well as all the positive influence that we hope to bring to bear as adults, children can influence each other's behaviour. The phrase 'peer pressure' tends to be used by early years practitioners, and parents as well, to explain situations when children provoke each other into less acceptable behaviour. But of course sometimes the pressure is positive. It is important to allow for ways in which peer pressure can work for a more harmonious day as well as when the influence veers towards disruption.
It is worth a few moments of reflection over why we tend to use the term 'peer pressure' more often in terms of negative effects on behaviour.
* Perhaps it is part of the balance that we need to watch as adults in terms of our own alertness and behaviour. Do we notice unacceptable behaviour more quickly than acceptable: the children who wind each other up rather than the ones who calm each other down?
* Do the disruptive effects of peer pressure stay as a clear memory of individual children whom we experience as a handful? But do the positive effects of children influencing each other blur into a more general memory of days or activities that went smoothly?
Friends like these
Of course some of the impact of peer pressure can be negative for the atmosphere of an early years setting or school. The less welcome effects of peer pressure show themselves in different ways. For example:
* Children may copy each other in behaviour you would rather not see. Perhaps they egg each other on to talk back, or argue with a level of cheek that would not be hazarded without a giggly and admiring audience. A small sub-group may enjoy disrupting a story or other kinds of group activities. It is as if they cannot resist prodding each other or indulging in stage whispers.
* One or two children may bring a very challenging attitude towards adults, or perhaps to women in particular. Some children in the group may look shocked and unhappy at what is said. But a few others may look interested and will join in the confrontational style, unless you deal firmly with the behaviour.
* Peer pressure can be influential in some physical activities. Dares may be posed in actual words or the body language that says just as loudly, 'I've climbed up here - what's the problem with you?' This kind of peer pressure can lead children to go well beyond their personal comfort zone in physical activities. They may need some discreet rescue work by an observant adult. This kind of competitive 'can't you do it?' approach is usually far more of an issue for boys. But it is not unknown for girls in a physically active sub-group to feel uncomfortable from undue pressure.
* You can see the influence of peer pressure in a family. Perhaps Katie, accompanied by her friends who have come to tea, joins in some cruel teasing of her brother, that she would not do on her own. The friends take the view that boys are fair game and Katie falls in with this pattern, to the point where her brother retreats to his room for some peace. Katie's parents, or her carer, need to have a quiet word with her about what is happening, how she has helped cause her brother's distress and how to handle the situation.
How to respond
Dealing with the impact of negative peer pressure needs to draw on the full range of positive strategies that you bring to bear on days with the children. (See the other Nursery World features in this series, especially 'All in good time', 23 March 2000, and 'Firm but fair', 25 May 2000). For instance:
* Cheek and backchat sometimes need to be ignored, or almost ignored. Any response needs to be low-key, avoiding any sense that you as the adult can top any remarks that the children make. One of the doubts about using selective ignoring with behaviour is that other children may think the first child is getting away with unacceptable behaviour and will copy it. But this does not always happen. Ignoring behaviour, like any other strategy, needs to be chosen in your knowledge of an individual child, exactly what he or she is doing and the current group dynamics.
* Physical dares can put children at risk when they feel obligated to jump from what to them is a scary height. You will help children for the future if you can give some strategies for dealing with the pressure. Today it is the climbing frame; tomorrow it may be dashing across the high road. You do not want to follow a rescue strategy that makes a child feel like a 'wimp'. But you do want to intervene in a way that gives a child some choices. Perhaps you say, 'Everybody's got a different exciting jump. Would you rather pick another rung?' or 'Do you want to build up to that bit of the climbing frame? Is here high enough for today?' Challenge and disrespect from a child to you as an adult, or a female, need to be recognised, but in a way that does not lead you to be disrespectful in your turn. You certainly should not model the very behaviour you want the child to stop. Children are probably copying what they observe in their own home. Individual families may have a confrontational style, but also some broad cultural traditions are less respectful to women.
This situation can be delicate and it is wise to talk with your colleagues about an approach that is consistent across your setting. It may be a tricky line to walk, but it is possible to communicate to children that what happens in their own home is their parents' business. What happens in your nursery or school is your business and here nobody speaks in that way to another person, child or adult. You need to put this view firmly but courteously and in a way that does not humiliate the child in front of the other children. You also need to give children time to learn your ground rules; they are developing new habits for your setting. In other aspects of your relationship with the child and parents, you can show respect and interest in family life and cultural background.
On your side
In any setting and in a family home you want to harness the positive effects of peer pressure:
* A firm but courteous approach to the children who challenge you will keep the other children on your side. Adults who are offensive in their turn, or who get into a power struggle with children, can end up accentuating the negative peer pressure. Even the well-behaved children will abandon a rude or unfair adult and join the shouting.
* A set of workable ground rules can fuel positive peer pressure as children have the words to say, 'We ask here, we don't grab', or 'Penny says we don't use that word here; it's unkind'.
* A warm and encouraging atmosphere can allow some children to exert a different kind of peer pressure. In nurseries, I have certainly seen children guide their peers into helpful behaviour over tidying up or being active in the daily routines. The child who is initially less keen will follow enthusiastic peers who show through words and behaviour that tidying up the big bricks is the best job to get. Or that it is special to lay the table because you don't get to do that every day.
* Children will appreciate strategies to deal with the children who disrupt group time. Perhaps you split up a disruptive sub-group and sit individuals next to children who are involved in story or song time. There is a chance that a child who is less settled will copy the more settled child. You can recognise positive behaviour from the first child, but not in a way to make him or her feel uncomfortable. NW
