Q) We have a little boy, just two-and-a-half years old, in our playgroup, and he really cannot settle although we try to adjust activities for him. We had his older sister at this same age and she was happy. But her brother is very distressed when his mother leaves and nothing we try is making the situation better. His mum is very keen that her son 'starts his early education', but we can't see that being so unhappy can be good for him.
A) Children cannot learn when they are distressed and there is a risk that this young boy will come to think of any pre-school setting as a source of misery, rather than interest and friendship. It sounds as if you are careful to adjust for your youngest children and, as you say, some two-year-olds are not ready to deal with playgroup. It is not a failure on your part if the usual strategies have not enabled this young child to settle.
Have a conversation with the boy's mother and explain how you feel it would be better for him to try playgroup again in the future. You could reassure her that children are very different and perhaps her son is not the only two-year-old who has not been ready for the group. You and/or his mother could simply say to him, 'You are not very happy here, are you? Shall we try again when you're a bit older?'
Do explain to this parent how much children can learn at home. They do not have to attend a pre-school in order 'to start learning'.
You could make some suggestions about learning through play and domestic routines at home and also suggest that the mother tries a local mother and toddler group where her son could get used to being in a group, but with the reassurance of her presence.
