The choice of playmates in different contexts reveals interesting issues about friendship and about gender to Dr Maria Robinson.

I have a three-year-old son, Josh, and I help out at the pre-school he attends three days a week. What I find disconcerting is that he is happy to play with his best friend Chloe, also aged three, when we meet with local mothers and their children at a weekly coffee morning but ignores her at pre-school. There, the children immediately divide into gender groups and play only with children of the same sex. Why do you think this is happening and what should we do about it at pre-school?

This question has two parts - first, the mother's concerns and second, what is happening at pre-school. What struck me immediately was that Chloe is described as his best friend. This is very much an adult perspective on the relationship between these two children and the idea of a 'best friend' is probably beyond their understanding.

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