A parent's guide to Taking children to the doctor and dentist

Every parent wants a visit to the doctor or dentist with their child to be a calm and reassuring experience. Thoughtful preparation will help to bring this about. Try to allow plenty of time so that you are not stressed by needing to rush. Do take some books or small toys to keep the child occupied in the waiting room.

If the need arises, you could make a separate appointment to see the doctor without your child present so that you can discuss plans for treating or managing the child's condition. Then the child should be involved to discuss it at the child's own level.

How can I prepare my child for a first visit to the dentist?

It may help if you first of all take your child along with you when you have an appointment yourself so that the child is familiar with the dentist's surgery. Talk to your child about the visit but don't talk about it as if it is something to fear. It might be helpful to mention the visit the day before and then again an hour or so before leaving home. Encourage your child by telling him how grown up he is, now that he is old enough to go to the dentist. Explain about the dentist's chair and that the dentist has special tools to examine teeth.

Find picture books in the library to read with your child. The more information you give your child, the less likely the child is to be frightened. Role play using dolls can be helpful. You and your child can take turns to play the role of the dentist. If your child is very anxious, arrange to visit first and 'ride in the chair' without a dental examination. Perhaps take a soft toy or doll along for the dentist to examine. Most dentists will be happy to oblige - they would rather take it slowly at first than spend years battling with a terrified child. There are also dentists who specialise in treating children so see if you can find one in your area.

What do I say if my child asks, 'will it hurt?'

If you know that nothing painful is going to happen, it is obviously much easier to answer this question directly and honestly. However, if you think or know that your child may have to go through a painful procedure at the doctor or dentist, it is not advisable to say 'it won't hurt at all'. By lying you will lose the child's trust and this could affect your relationship. At the same time, you don't want to frighten him. Saying 'it might hurt a tiny bit' but emphasising how quick it will be, and telling him how brave you know he is, is one way forward. Another is to focus on what you will do afterwards. Reassurance that you will be right there with him and will hold his hand may also help.

What if we get to the waiting room and my child does start screaming?

First, try not to lose your temper! By getting angry with the child you are likely to exacerbate the problem rather than solving it. If necessary, let the next patient go in first. Talk calmly and reassuringly and this may help to calm the child to the point where he can tell you what is worrying him. Acknowledge your child's feelings and offer support and encouragement. He may feel safer if he knows that he can sit on your lap, for example.

Distraction, such as focusing on what you will do afterwards, is another option. You can also try giving your child a choice to make him feel more in control - for example, 'would you like to walk in by yourself or would you like me to carry you?' This should be said kindly - not as a threat! If this is a routine or first visit, it may well be enough to go into the surgery and just simply meet the doctor or dentist on this occasion.