Talking with parents

As a nanny, you will make many decisions every week, and not all of them have to be checked out with children's parents. You should have a good idea of what the family would like you to do, and how. But the awkward questions about babies, bodily functions and death may raise issues that you know should be clarified first in an adult conversation.

Once you've taken a decision about a delicate issue, be ready to mention to the child's parents what was asked and how you replied.

Children can be very interested in how bodies work, including how you make babies. There are some good books around, but you need parents' input on your choices. Books about sex and babies vary widely in the information given and the nature of the illustrations. Some families will prefer books with more discretion.

Children need to learn gradually about courtesy. Harry's parents, for example, may feel as uncomfortable as you do about their son's tendency to operate as a public address system. Do let them know that Harry is grasping the idea of quieter remarks. He now seems to understand that something may be true but could hurt someone's feelings, so you don't shout it.