Positive relationships: Let's talk about ... Boys

Q: Do you notice a difference between how boys and girls learn?

We used to get anxious parents who were worried that their friends' daughter was already writing their name, whereas their son couldn't. We would have to convince them that their son was doing so many other fabulous things and would eventually read and write - it was just going to take longer.

You have to sort out what are the myths and what is reality. It is a reality that there are raised testosterone levels at the age of four in boys and brain development is different, but it is too easy to say that boys are 'like this' and that is all they can do.

Boys want to do things standing up, lying on the floor, reaching and stretching. They do not want to sit for extended periods of times. Girls will sit for long times, compared with boys, doing very detailed pieces of work. Of course, there are always exceptions, but this is generally the case.

Girls will do things more alongside you, whereas boys will respond to a challenge, like 'I bet you can't ... '.

There are always exceptions. There are some very physical girls and some very quiet girls.

Yesterday I asked one boy why he couldn't sit still and he said 'Because I'm alive'. He is a particular livewire and is always on the go, but he assures me he lies still in his bed at night!

Our attitude is, let's see what they can do and build on that, rather than thinking what boys can't do.

Q: How do you engage the boys?

We let the children go outside first thing for 20 minutes in the morning and afternoon. It makes a huge difference. Many of the boys go straight to the bikes and ride around. They are then more ready to settle down to more directed activities. Before we did this, the noise level was definitely a lot higher and it was a lot more frantic.

Space rockets, pirate role play, dinosaurs, builders' yards - all sorts of things that boys are going to be more interested in.

We replicate the indoor curriculum outdoors. Although there are the physical aspects for the children, it is also considering the curriculum, so whatever our agenda, we can take that to the child wherever they are.

Activities are accessible while standing, sitting or lying down. You will often see big pieces of paper taped to the floor and children going around with clipboards. A whole table surface will be covered with paper with no chairs around so the boys can access it standing up.

We hear about settings where they struggle because they are too prescriptive, where children spend most of the time sitting down. Then they have problems with boys and think they are naughty. They are labelled because they will not play nicely.

We don't have a lot of space outside compared with a primary school playground, so it is a case of really thinking how to allow children have that room to run and throw and jump and so on.

Q: Does being an all-female staff team affect practice?

I'd like to think not, but I'm sure that being an all-female setting must affect our practice in some ways.

We have targeted the college to find male students for us and we have dads in, but for a long time we have not had a male member of staff.

The children have an expectation that men will play physically with them.

We do have a very physical female who is sporty and is desperate to go outside because she loves playing football and running around, so she does fulfil the 'male' role to some extent.

Q: Do you allow guns and superhero play?

We do not actively encourage it, but I think if you are to put Lego out, the first thing a boy will do is make a gun.

They are very good at not using the word 'gun'! It becomes a 'schkooter' or something!

We play it by ear. If it gets too rough or upsetting, it is not appropriate. As with any activities, if that is all they do, then we will try to steer them away from it. If it is positive play and they have built something wonderful, then it is fine for a little while. But most children will then stop and go and play with something else. We'd also encourage girls to move on and do something else if all they were doing was playing babies.

We discourage children coming into nursery in costumes, both boys and girls, because they take on that role for the rest of the day. We provide dressing-up cloaks and capes and hats, but they are open- ended and they have put something into it and created the costume.

One year we had 75 per cent boys. We monitored them over the year and the majority made progress beyond what you'd expect from how they were doing when they first came in. The girls made good progress too. We were able to show in all aspects, such as writing, language and so on, that all the boys made good progress.

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AN EXPERT'S VIEW

By Penny Holland, academic leader for early childhood at London Metropolitan University

It is very easy and very dangerous to slip into generalisations about gender. I would suggest that we should avoid making any statements about boys and girls, which suggest that all boys or all girls behave in the same ways. As soon as we start to do this we create stereotypes and we create rules, which ignore the exceptions - and there are always exceptions. It is very different saying 'boys like to play with guns' rather than 'some boys like to play with guns'. When we generalise we can very quickly lose sight of the whole child behind the boy or girl label and forget that we need to understand and provide for each child's individual needs as effectively as we can.

For example, we should be providing access to the whole curriculum outdoors as well as indoors, because all children have an entitlement and need to learn in diverse contexts through physical activity and exploration of the environment - not simply because this might benefit (some) boys. Not providing such opportunities potentially disadvantages all children. Some girls might appear to be more able to sit for long periods on the carpet, but we need to question whether this is something to celebrate or to be concerned about. What opportunities are those particular girls missing out on? Is it acceptable to expect young children to sit for long periods?

While there are clearly physiological and biological differences between boys and girls, there is no conclusive evidence to suggest that these differences give rise to significant differences in behaviour and development in early childhood. Where differences in brain development can be identified, they are not of the magnitude to determine children's behaviour in a clear-cut way. If they did, all boys and all girls would behave in the same ways.

The children's workforce is almost exclusively female, and to ensure that we are making every effort to provide appropriately for all children, it is essential that we start by reflecting on our own attitudes and practice. How do we feel about the behaviours we label as belonging to boys? Do we treat some boys differently, especially if we are uncomfortable with their behaviour? An honest analysis of our feelings and practice is probably the most effective starting point in relation to developing our practice around gender to benefit both boys and girls.

Further reading:

- We Don't Play with Guns Here by Penny Holland (£18.99, Open University Press, www.mcgraw-hill.co.uk)

- 'Boy Zone' by Neil Farmer (Nursery World, 17 January 2008, www.nurseryworld.co.uk).