Twins: Two by two

You can respect twin children's characteristics while treating the two of them as unique individuals. Dr Penny Munn gives advice for sensitive double dealing

There are two different kinds of twins. Non-identical, or fraternal, twins result from a double fertilisation; identical twins result from an embryo splitting after conception. Non-identical twins are no more alike than ordinary siblings; identical twins are completely alike, genetically speaking. Most twins are non-identical.

Since 1980, the number of twin births has been steadily rising in the developed world. In the UK, the incidence was ten in every thousand births in that year whereas it is now around 14 in every thousand births. But this increase has been in non-identical twins. Identical twins are much more rare, at four per thousand births and are no more frequent now than they ever were. They are chance events and are not affected by any of the factors associated with fraternal twin births, such as infertility treatments or delayed motherhood (hormone changes in older women increase the likelihood of fraternal twins). Sometimes twin children can cause a fair amount of trouble for their families. On average, pregnancy and birth are more difficult, and birth weight and survival rates are lower. Rates of disability of all kinds are higher because of birth and pregnancy problems. Twins are also more difficult and expensive to rear, so there are both problems and delights for parents with the double pregnancy.

Effects of being a twin

Are changes in childbearing giving a growing minority of children who are born as twins a changed experience of childhood? If this is the case, then it is important that childcare and education professionals understand twin children's experiences. We have a history of misunderstanding twins. In ancient times, twins were often killed because they were regarded as an evil omen. Even in the modern age, we have many misconceptions about them. One common myth is that being a twin can cause poor socio-emotional and language development. In fact, scientific studies show little evidence for such effects on children's development. Most of the differences between twin and singleton children are due to associated factors, such as being premature or having low birth weight.

Twins are not very rare, but no matter how frequent multiple births become, they will always be unusual. The early experiences of children in a twin relationship are very unlike the more common experiences of childhood. We know that siblings have a big influence on each other's early development. They understand each other as no other children can; they delight and infuriate each other with the greatest of ease. The age differences between them mean that they have different relationships with their parents, and different niches in their family. In the melee of family life, children learn to use their unique position in the family while young; they join battle and forces with their brothers and sisters in equal measure.

The experience of having (and being) a brother or sister is one that shapes personality and ability in many ways. On a psychological level, their relationship enhances the differences between them. However, fraternal, or non-identical twins are just siblings with no age gap: this enhances the similarities between them. Twin children do not have different relationships with their parents and they share the same niche in their family. As a result, twin children may struggle to develop their individuality and different niches in life.

How to help twin children

There are three main pointers for good practice in dealing with twins.

• Do not assume that twin children are going to have problems. They may have a different experience of childhood, but as long as this is understood, it need not lead to difficulties.
  
  
• Treat each twin pair on an individual basis. Twin children may resemble one another but twin pairs are as different from each other as singletons. Very few characteristics are common to all twins - except that there are two of them the same age! Look for the individuality in their relationship. Find out how they feel about each other. What sort of things does one do that annoys the other?

Do they appreciate time apart? Their relationships, and their feelings about their relationship, are likely to be varied.

• Treat each of the twin children within the pair on an individual basis. The majority of twins are fraternal and are no more similar than any siblings. They will benefit from people reacting to them as two individuals rather than as 'the twins'.

Developing individuality

Separation is the first strategy that most people think of to help twins develop individuality and the idea of it can bring out strong feelings in professionals, parents and children. The purpose is usually to give both adults and children the opportunity to react to each twin child as an individual rather than as 'one of the twins'. Some twin children (and their families) will quite like this idea. Others might not be so keen if they are going to feel unhappy without each other's support. Every twin pair is different, so individual solutions should prevail.

Recent research shows that most UK schools do not have standard policies on dealing with twin children. Schools should form their strategies in response to the children's characteristics. Separation is not the only strategy for encouraging individuality. It is possible to make sure twin children's individualities are respected, and to emphasise differences between them, without physical separation. The basic rule is to personalise the children's experiences:

• Do not call twin children (or allow others to call them) 'the twins'. Ensure that they are always referred to individually and by name.
  
  
• Discourage identical dressing and hairstyles. Explain to parents, if necessary, that this practice is not particularly good for twin children. Point out that the other children will find it hard to make one-to-one friendships with children they cannot tell apart.
  
  
• Gently discourage dominance in one twin child - being spokesperson for both, for instance. Be gentle in your demands for change, because both children will see the dominant twin as kind and helpful rather than domineering.
  
  
• Remember the differences that you notice between the twin children. Talk to the twin children themselves and to the other children in the group about these differences. With pre-school children, focus on how they differ in what they like - such young children will not yet have much notion of personality differences.
  
  
• Reward twin children for choosing separate activities. In your conversations with the children, relate these choices to differences you have noticed.
  
  
• Encourage twin children to be with a range of other children. This will give them opportunities to develop separate identities within the class. Parents of twin children face a considerable challenge to their emotional, mental and physical resources. Childcare professionals who know about twins have much to offer them when twin children step from the family into the outside world.

Dr Penny Munn is a developmental psychologist at the Department of Primary Education, University of Strathclyde.

Information to pass on to parents

• Twins and Multiple Births by Carol Cooper (Vermilion, £9.99) is a recommended guide for parents about to give birth to twins.
  
  
• The Art of Parenting Twins: The Unique Joys and Challenges of Raising Twins and Other Multiples by Patricia Maxwell Malmstrom and Janet Poland (Ballantine, £8.99) is a realistic guide to parenting twins and multiples from pregnancy through to adolescence.
  
  
• Tamba, 2 The Willows, Gardner Road, Guildford GU1 4PG www.tamba.org.uk, Office: 01493 304442, Helpline: Twinline 0800 138 0509

• Twinsclub UK is an online community run by parents of multiples for parents of multiples. It has reams of funny and useful pages, plus parent help and discussion pages on, for example, fighting between twins, breastfeeding and so on. Website: www.twinsclub.co.uk .