Working Mum - ‘I’m a big girl now!’

As if turning three wasn’t exciting enough for my younger daughter, she also got to move rooms at nursery into the pre-school room, otherwise known by her as the ‘big girl room’.

This had been a much anticipated move for her, I think because the transition made her feel grown-up and special and some of her friends were already there. Her birthday is close to that of a friend of the same age who also attends the setting, so they were able to make the change together.

In the lead-up to the big move, they were invited into the pre-school room for some activities, such as cooking and acting out a story with puppets, so that they got used to the new surroundings. She told her dad and me about these visits enthusiastically.

Annoyingly, the big move was stalled by a lack of communication. We were misinformed of the date that she would be starting in the pre-school room and I was bigging up the move all weekend only to find that we were a week early. The tweenie room leader wanted her to wait until the end of the month so that she could get her observation book finished. My daughter looked absolutely deflated and I was amazed that she didn’t cry. I still don’t understand why a smooth paper trail for the adults was regarded as more important than a smooth transition for the child.

FANTASTIC WELCOME

When the big day did finally arrive we walked through the nursery gates to be met by my daughter’s new key person, who was grinning and waving her in. My daughter bounced through the door to be shown her new peg and tray, which were labelled with her photo and name. It was a fantastic welcome.

Staff also prepared me for the move by telling me that the routines were slightly different in the pre-school room and that there is more structure in order to get the children ready for school. I got the impression that they thought this was something that I’d welcome.

A friend of mine was desperate for more formality for her three-year-old and is pleased that they are doing daily phonics sessions with her, but I want learning to be more informal and for my daughter to have fun at nursery. I don’t want her to be ‘schooled’ and to start regarding learning as a chore.

I get the impression that the staff are taking more of a ‘learning through play’ approach but haven’t conveyed this well to parents. I will speak to them if I feel that the nursery day is becoming too formal, but at the moment my daughter is still coming home covered in paint and mud.

I’m happy she is having opportunities to explore, be creative and socialise with friends while starting to become more aware of letters and numbers. I love that she points out the initial of her name and that of her peers when she sees them in the environment, has started to write her initial and carefully holds up three fingers when people ask her age. There’s enough time for phonics later.

I don’t want her to be ‘schooled’ and see learning as a chore

When I collected my daughter from the pre-school room for the first time she told me she was a ‘big girl’ and proudly said that she wanted to phone her grandpa to tell him. I had wondered if there would be some sadness that she’s no longer in the same room as a much-adored practitioner, but they still see each other and, a few weeks on, she has not commented about missing her. She is enjoying herself too much.

The one change I’ve not welcomed is her announcement that she doesn’t need to have a sleep during the day any more. Her grumpiness at bedtime tells a different story.

A WORD OF ADVICE

Making the move from one room in nursery into another is a major experience in the life of a three-year-old, explains early years consultant and author Anne O’Connor (www.primedforlife.co.uk)

No transition is ever ‘seamless’ at this age, but there is a lot we can do to make sure that the child (and their family) soon feel like ‘fish in water’, ready to make the most of the exciting new environment.

For transitions at any time, but especially from ‘under threes’ to ‘over threes’, children (and their parents) need to:

Feel eagerly awaited. This provides a powerful sense of feeling ‘known’ and ‘held in mind’ – two features very important for developing secure attachments.

Have their friendships acknowledged and supported. Wouldn’t you feel better if you had a friend come along when you arrived at a strange place or started a new job?

Be involved in the planning process. At the very least, this means making sure that everyone is quite clear about dates and timings so that there can be no confusion. Children who are particularly anxious or vulnerable can be badly traumatised by misinformation.

Remain in a play-based environment with appropriate early years pedagogy. Threes’ and fours’ energies and focus need to be on development of the Prime areas: Physical Development, Communication and Language, together with their Personal, Social and Emotional development. Too much early emphasis on literacy and phonics has been shown to have a detrimental effect on later learning and motivation. Children of this age need lots of opportunity for movement and physical activity in order to develop the gross and fine motor skills required for specific areas of learning, as well as the proprioceptive and vestibular development that is essential for cognitive and emotional health and well-being – and ultimate school readiness.