Positive relationships: A parent's guide to ... Journeys

Oh, the joys of travelling with young children! The car has been packed. The children are loaded up and at last it is time to set off. There is calm for the first ten minutes. Then, a little voice calls from the back, 'He's taken my book!' Peace is restored, but not for long.

'I'm hungry' is soon followed by the inevitable 'Are we there yet?'

So, what can parents do to make sure that going away is a smooth ride?

PLANNING

There are many approaches to travelling with children. Personally, my starting point is to 'hope for the best, but prepare for the worst'. Of course, this attitude is not conducive to spontaneous weekends away or travelling light, but it does make life easier.

If you are not sure what is essential for your trip, make a note of the equipment, toys and clothes that you know are in continual use. Then either ensure that these will be available at the other end, or pack them. Preparing for the worst also means thinking about what you would need if your child were to be poorly or your trip were significantly delayed.

TIMING

There is no 'right' time to travel with children. Being confined is one of the hardest things for active young children to cope with. If you travel during the day, you will need plenty of activities to prevent them from becoming bored. You will also need to consider a few pit stops where they can physically run around and feel free. Choosing to travel close to their bedtime does mean that some or all of the journey time may be spent asleep, but the downside is that while you arrive exhausted, your child will be ready to zoom around.

UNDERSTANDING

Young children do find it hard to understand time and distance. One way to prepare them and to keep them up to speed with your journey is to put together a sequence of events or a timeline. This helps the children to understand where they are on their journey. If you can, think about using a few photographs, starting with your home. There are plenty of images of motorways, planes, trains and waiting lounges on the internet. This requires some effort, but can help children to work out what is happening.

ACTIVITIES

Often the hardest thing for parents is to keep children entertained. This is particularly hard on car journeys if you are alone. The trick is to drip-feed activities one at a time. Again, this takes a little planning, but is well worth it. Think about some items they can play with at their seats. Kaleidscopes can work well, as can magnetic scribblers and fuzzy-felt kits.

Children also like surprises. Think about creating boxes or pillowcases akin to the old treasure bags. Put in a book, some stickers, a satsuma and a toy that is new to them. If children have a table, then think about taking along some playdough and a few small-world characters, such as farm animals, cars or play people.

As well as breaking the boredom through play, children will need your attention. Tell stories or read books. If you are driving, try singing along to a CD or putting on a recorded story for everyone to listen to.

WAITING GAMES

Perhaps the hardest part of travelling is waiting around in queues when it is not possible to get out any toys. Here, games such as 'peepo' come into their own; for older children, try rock-paper-scissors. Think also about whipping out a finger puppet from a pocket. Save it just for dull moments so that it remains exciting for your child.

FOOD AND DRINK

It is worth creating plenty of mini picnics when travelling. Look out for clean and easy-to-eat foods that will not go off. Food and drinks can really break up the day for children, so bring or buy some healthy snacks that take a while to eat, such as small boxes of raisins or unsalted popcorn for train and plane journeys. If you are travelling by car, allow time for stopping for food to avoid the risk of your child choking and also to prevent carsickness.

TIPS

• Make a list of what needs packing and keep it for the next time you go away.

• If your destination is abroad, remember that babies and young children need to have their own passport.

• Sew or felt-tip a mobile phone number or address into your child's toys or comforters.

• Take a range of medicines for conditions such as diarrhoea, fever and allergic reactions.

• Pack a multi-tool knife, sewing kit and some sticky tape for any running repairs.

• Keep a first-aid kit, wet wipes and a bottle of water with you.

• Be ready for frequent loo stops, especially if your child is only just out of nappies.

CASE STUDY

'Before we had children, I would just throw a few things into a rucksack and then leave. Things stayed that way for the first six months as I was breastfeeding Ayse and all I needed was a sling and a carrycot. Once she became mobile, everything changed.

'I remember going to the Lake District and staying in a cottage with my sister and her children and our parents. The amount of stuff we had between us was absolutely ridiculous. We had highchairs, prams, not to mention travel cots, nappies and clothes. In theory, you can manage without a highchair and sit a child on your knee, but it makes life so much harder.

'Nowadays, with two children, it takes me half a day to pack and prepare. I always take plenty of clothes because of the time when both children were sick on the way to see my parents. Then there was the time at a family wedding when I was trying to find someone with Calpol as one of the children had a temperature and I had not brought any with me. I can see it is getting slightly better now that the children are getting older, but long gone are the simple days of a bag with a few bits!'