Learning & Development Emotions: Life and death

Death as a learning theme figures rarely in early years settings' long-or medium-term planning. There is no direct reference to death and bereavement in the EYFS framework, though some of the early learning goals potentially cover the subject (see Links to Guidance).

So, when a much-loved class pet called Guinness the Guinea Pig died suddenly, we decided that we would use this real and relevant event as a learning opportunity to discuss life and death.

Some of the best learning opportunities in the EYFS are unplanned. Those that arise spontaneously, as a result of real events, often have the most powerful and profound impact on children's learning.

With Guinness's death, we wanted to introduce the children to how our culture copes with death, bereavement and remembrance of someone or something that has passed away.

Guinness had been a popular member of the Foundation Stage Unit and loved by all. He worked wonders at calming children starting nursery, anxious during their first taster days at our unit, and provided children with opportunities to care for him and learn about the importance of looking after a pet.

Then, one day, he hardly moved or ate, and it was clear to the staff that he was probably going to die. That night I took Guinness home, but despite the best efforts of my own children coaxing him with his favourite food, Guinness died.

It was with some nervousness that I arrived at school two days later with Guinness's body wrapped in a cloth and laid in an old shoebox. Unsure how the children would cope with the news, I decided to start with the key facts and check their responses and feelings before deciding whether it was appropriate to proceed with any further discussion about death. I wasn't sure what would happen, but I was prepared to trust the children and take my cue from them.

Delivering the news

Several years ago a child in my nursery class attended her grandmother's funeral. The next day I tried to offer her words of comfort - 'Oh dear, I'm sure it was hard to go to the funeral, but at least you had the chance to say goodbye to your granny.'

Looking puzzled, she replied in a matter-of-fact tone, 'Oh no! She was dead!'

I learned a valuable lesson that day:don't use euphemisms or ambiguity with children, best to be direct and honest.

Remembering this incident, I decided to deliver the news of Guinness simply and accurately, and then open up the topic for discussion, encouraging the children to voice their thoughts, feeling and ideas about death.

Tessa: 'Children, I have some news about Guinness. As you know, I took him home because he was feeling poorly.'

Joe: 'He's better?'

Tessa: 'Well, actually, Joe, he's not better. In fact, he died last night at my house, very peacefully in his cage.'

There was a stunned silence. My heart was thumping as I scanned the room, looking at faces to gauge their response to the news. I caught the eyes of one boy who was looking quite taken aback by the news, so I decided to carry on in a brisk, upbeat and matter-of-fact way.

Tessa: 'Guinness was an old guinea pig and he died because he was very old. But I thought it would be really nice to make some things to help us remember Guinness, like a picture or a card.'

Isabel: 'Where's Guinness now, Tessa?'

Tessa: 'Well, I have brought Guinness's body in; it's in this shoebox. I've wrapped him up in a little cloth and put hay around him, because that makes me feel better seeing him looking comfortable, even though he's dead.'

Olivia: 'Can I have a look at him?'

Tessa: 'Yes, anyone can have a look at him, but if you don't want to then that's OK, too.'

To my surprise, most children wanted to see Guinness, and curiosity rather than grief was the predominant emotion among the group. I placed the shoebox on a table and slowly lifted the lid. Immediately, I was surrounded by a crowd of children eager to look in.

I really wasn't sure where all this was going but decided to keep listening to the children and follow their lead. What followed was an amazing insight into the thoughts, feelings and views of young children about death and afterlife. We documented their questions and comments - here's just a sample.

Olivia: 'Are his eyes open? Why are his eyes open?'

Isabel: 'He's still got his fur on! I thought he wouldn't have any fur on him any more.'

Daniel: (to one of the teachers): 'Are you sad?'

Olivia: 'Can I touch him?'

Daniel: 'You can't bury him in the ground 'cause he's got to go up to the cloud, up there.'

MEMENTOES

Once all the children had the opportunity to discuss Guinness's death, I suggested we could bury him in our garden and asked for ways to record his burial site. It was clear from their responses that many of them already had an idea about how we conventionally mark a burial site; others had their own original suggestions.

All of these were recorded and over the following days, a range of mementoes were created and placed on Guinness's grave.

Elizabeth: 'We need to make a sign.'

Daniel: 'We could put some flowers on top of him.'

Joe: 'I know, we can put a stone thing on top.'

Katy: 'Put his toys on top.'

Leo: 'Put some fire over him to keep him warm.'

Jacob: ' Put some food on top.'

PARENTS

Several days passed and then parents started asking staff about Guinness. Was he really dead? Some expressed initial surprise that we had tackled such a sensitive issue, but most were very supportive and agreed that a greater awareness of death and bereavement at this age was a positive step.

In our next newsletter we added an item about Guinness's death so that parents had the opportunity to continue the dialogue with their children.

DIGNITY

Guinness's death occurred several months ago. Since then, more opportunities have occurred where the subject of death has been mentioned, and each time the children refer back to Guinness.

At Easter, we told the story of the crucifixion of Jesus; in spring, our nest of chicks was raided and all the chicks died; and when we released our butterflies into the wild, we discussed how long they would live before laying eggs and dying. Although we all miss Guinness and remember him with fondness, his death served to raise awareness of an important subject that affects all our lives. I believe it was a very important learning opportunity that, I think, we tackled with honesty and dignity and without over-sentimentality.

Tessa Fenoughty is Foundation Stage teacher at Middleton-in-Teesdale Primary School, County Durham

LINKS TO EYFS GUIDANCE

'Respond to significant experiences, showing a range of feelings when appropriate' (ELG, p31)

'Have a developing awareness of their own needs, views and feelings and be sensitive to the needs, views and feelings of others' (ELG, p31)

Look closely at similarities, differences, patterns and change' (ELG, p80)

'Ask questions about why things happen and how things work' (ELG, p80)